Expert: arani_CsA - 7/10/2009

Question
i am a master and will be having my slave soon we have talked about everything of our relation what are the limits also ... what i want to ask is how the slave should be treated for the first time i see?  should it be nice ... or starting rough....  when seeing her giving her a kiss as welcome or bend her over and spank her

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your question.  I do apologize for taking so long to respond, but my own Master and I have moved to a new house and were without internet access for a couple of weeks.  I will try to provide the answers you are looking for.

It is very good of you to be concerned about your slave's welfare at this first meeting.  You didn't say whether this was to be a short visit, or if she was moving in with you permanently.  I'll try to address both situations.

When planning an off-line meeting with anyone met over the internet, there are certain precautions that both parties should take for the sake of safety and to ensure a pleasant outcome to the meeting.  When those involved are in an M/s or D/s relationship, these precautions become even more important.  Unfortunately, there are people who go on line with the intent to deceive, and sometimes even with the intent to do harm.  For an extreme example of this, I encourage you to do a web search on a man named John Robinson, who is currently sitting on death row in the state of Kansas for having lured several submissives to his home and then brutally murdering them.  (And I've known of Masters to be the victims in this kind of scenario, as well.)

I met my own Master on line, and it can be done successfully.  When I travelled to him the first time, I knew his real name, his address and telephone number, where he worked, and what kind of car he drove as well as what his license number was.  I supplied him with the same information about myself.  I gave his contact information to a friend, and arranged to phone her at a set time to tell her that things were going well.  (If I had not phoned her, she had instructions to notify the police.)  We met in a neutral location, and planned to have dinner in a restaurant, where we had a very nice "vanilla" meal while getting further acquainted.  We did spend the night together in a hotel, although many couples choose not do so.  However, while we cuddled and were affectionate, we did not have sex -- vanilla or otherwise.  The second night, we assumed our Master and slave roles and I began my service in full, including a lively S/m play session.

What the two of you do, or don't do, is pretty much up to the two of you.  I do think that you should insist on a very neutral encounter, at least at first.  She needs to be able to determine whether she feels safe in your company, and truly wants to devote her life to being your slave, while still in control of all her faculties.  Once the endorphins start flowing, whether from service or from S/m activities, she will find it harder to think rationally.  Some couples choose to have a totally neutral visit the first time, and then go home to ponder the future of their relationship, but again this is something that each couple will have to decide for themselves.

Now, if this is to be the beginning of her life as your live-in slave, I would suggest that you still take it slow.  Start out as friends, on a relatively neutral basis, and then gradually add to your relationship as you both feel comfortable.  

You mentioned your slave's limits, and I am pleased that you recognize that even slaves do have them.  In my opinion, it's more a matter of how those limits are expressed that differentiates a submissive from a slave.  Also, bear in mind that even if you do choose to conduct your relationship in a relatively neutral fashion at first, you may still need to deal with a woman who is smitten with desire to be everything you want her to be, and may be eager to move into areas she might not be ready for yet.

Good luck to you both, and many wishes for a happy life together.  If you have any further questions, feel free to contact me again.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius