Expert: arani_CsA - 7/25/2009

Question
My boyfriend and I are both relatively new to the lifestyle. We both have had an huge interest and when we meet each other, it naturally happened that we slipped into these roles. We are now trying to learn more about slave/master relationships and bondage from the BDSM community. We don't live to together and I'm trying to learn how to a be a good slave when we don't live together.  We're having trouble figuring out how to maintain the slave/master relationship beyond when we're together.

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your question.  I hope I can help you find the answers you are looking for.

It is certainly quite possible to maintain a long-distance M/s relationship, although it can be very difficult.  My own Master and I met through an on-line discussion forum, and conducted our "courtship" via e-mail and the telephone for some time.  And we've been together over nine years now.

One thing that helped me out considerably, in the early days of our relationship, was that my Master gave me a detailed routine to be carried out every day.  Then I had to report on my actions, and my thoughts, by e-mail several times during the day.  Many long-distance slaves have requirements as to what they are to wear, or other various tasks to be completed.  This might include doing research into various facets of the lifestyle, learning to cook foods that the Master likes, losing weight to be more attractive for him, spending time contemplating her place, and so on.  Consider this a time of preparation for when you WILL be with him, a chance to improve yourself and your skills so that you may serve him better when the time comes.

Many slaves, long-distance and otherwise, keep on-line journals describing their journeys into self-discovery and learning about the lifestyle and about service.  This can be a good way to put your thoughts and feelings into words, to better help you understand yourself.  And it can also be a good way to show your Master how you are growing and developing in your slavery.

However, your Master should remember that he has responsibilities as well in this relationship.  That includes providing some measure of protection and nurturing, and training as to what he expects from his slave.  

If you both have a computer, spending time together via an instant messaging program might be beneficial.  I used to be active in the role-playing chat rooms, but the ones I used to visit are no longer available.  There may be other similar forums; I have heard of people who make use of a program called Second Life.  Use this time to talk about your day, continue your training, indulge in some role-play or some really good phone sex, and don't feel shy about doing some role playing.

Good luck to you, and if you have any further questions please feel free to contact me again.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius