About arani_CsA Expertise I am available to answer any questions you might have about Master/slave relationships. While my Master and I are Gorean, I have intimate knowledge of other forms of consensual slavery as well. I can offer advice in the areas of learning to come to an understanding of one's slave nature, learning how to best please one's owner, and other problems that come up in the day-to-day life of a slave.
Experience I was collared by my Master on May 6, 2000, and on Nov. 8, 2003 became his wife as well. Prior to that time, I wore the collars of two other men.
Publications My website, which can be located at http://www.geocities.com/dancer_of_gor/index.html
Education/Credentials I have an advanced degree in the health professions. In addition, I have been a slave for over ten years, and during that time was trained by three different Masters with regards to slavery in general as well as how to serve them in particular. One of these Masters required me to train the other slaves in his chain.
Awards and Honors At one time, I was given the rather dubious honor of being voted the "Sexiest Slave" in Yahoo Gor. I don't take this too seriously, and don't encourage anyone else to do so either.
Question Greetings and thank you for looking at my question.
This one has been in a bdsm relationship online with a gorean Master for over a year and a half.
This one is a switch with slaves of her own.
At one point girls Master released her because of issues of His feeling He could not Dom her.
Perhaps girl is too vanilla. Recently my Master got so involved during a scene using a machine he failed to realize I was not enjoying it. As in girl was not responding. It was not a planned scene, we were visiting a place and girl hopped on a machine to see what it did.
It went from there.
my Master enjoys dark play from time to time and girl can go there comfortably in the right mood.
Master has another girl now that enjoys dark play and girl is happy for him.
The rp is in secondlife, we are partners in sl as well as Master/slave.
One of the agreements we have is he does not see me with my subs and I don't see him with his.
I threw him a birthday party recently and of course included his other girl. This one knew it would not be easy for her going in, but wanted Him happy.
Part of the problem girl has is, whatever boundries are agreed upon before hand, seem to get pushed aside when others are involved.
One promise that was made and has been broken is that we would end each night cuddled alone. Twice now if one of his other girls is on, he says it would be hard not to have her there as well. This last time girl said she would just beg to kennel and log.
The rub is he seems to take sides with the other girl when she is around.
If girl has a limit he gets upset with it, says He feels like he can't Dom her.
Sorry this is so long. I have a good friend in sl that helps me a great deal.
She says just leave him. She is my sounding board and i am hers.
I love this man, very much. As a sub i want to be owned. If as a sub i protect myself, with a limit at this point girl has only two. No machines and the agreed upon not wanting to hang out with the two of them.
Perhaps girl is not sub enough, she feels she is.
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond.
d
Answer Hello...
Thank you for coming to me with your question. I hope I can help you find the answers you are looking for.
Firstly, my Master does not require me to speak in the third person when addressing a fellow slave. Secondly, I will tell you a little about my background, so that you may better understand where I am coming from. I discovered the world of on-line BDSM several years ago, and initially entered that world as a Domme. I have owned three different men, all very sweet slaves. However, there came a time when I met a man who simply would have it no other way than that I become his slave. So, much like the women in John Norman's books, I was enslaved and learned to love that life.
For some time, I participated in the role-playing chat rooms on Yahoo and on IRC. However, that was not where I met the man who has owned me for the last nine years, and who five years ago also gave me the wonderful gift of making me his wife. We met through an on-line discussion forum. I have not done any role-playing for several years, as I am much too busy serving him off line. A while back, I did experiment with Second Life, at the recommendation of a friend, but found nothing to entice me there.
Now, I hope you don't take offense at this, but your letter tells me that your understanding of Gor is lacking in several areas. There are no submissives in Gor, just as there are no switches. Slavery is total and absolute, and the only limits a slave is allowed are the ones granted to her by her Master. And, even then, he may at any time take away any limits he has previously agreed to, and the slave has no right to protest. When I was active in the chat rooms, we used to say that the slave has the last two words in any argument -- "Yes, Master." We also used to say that a Master may not be right, but he is never wrong. In other words, if a Master says that the sky is green, the slave's response should be, "Yes, Master, and what a lovely green sky it is."
Now, I'll address some specific points of your letter. You said that your Master once got so involved in a scene that he did not realize you were not enjoying it. However, in a truly Gorean sense, it simply didn't matter whether you enjoyed it or not. Your feelings about what was being done to you should have been of absolutely no importance to him. Any kind of responsibility he might have had to protect you only goes so far as to ensure your continued usefulness to him.
You also mentioned that any boundaries you and your Master have previously agreed to tend to get pushed aside at certain times. However, as I stated earlier, a Master is not bound to abide by any agreement he has made with a slave. A slave does not have the right to expect any kind of treatment from her Master. The only thing she can do without his permission is to breathe.
Now, I mentioned before that there are no submissives in Gor. In fact, when I was in the chat rooms, one of the worst insults that we could level at a slave was to call her a submissive. I don't have a submissive bone in my body, and yet my Master tells me I am a natural slave. There is a lot that can be said about the differences between a submissive and a slave, but I'll make it short. Submissiveness is a personality trait that makes a person want to obey another, and be under his control. A submissive will enjoy being told what to do, but will also place limits on her submission. However, a slave may or may not enjoy what she is told to do and may or may not be good at it; it quite simply doesn't matter what her feelings are in the matter. A slave is merely an owned woman. And that doesn't mean she is under lock and key. It means that she has surrendered so deeply to the will of another that she can't even think of not being pleasing. She will transform herself in any way necessary to make herself into the kind of slave her Master wants. I like to say that a submissive DOES what her Dominant wants, while a slave BECOMES what her Master wants.
So, when we talk about a slave not having any limits, it's not that she isn't allowed them. It's that she just can't imagine anything standing in the way of her service to her Master. If she does inform him of any limitations she might have, it's only to provide him with more information to enable him to better know and use his property. For example, I made it a point to inform my Master, before he collared me, that I have a bad heart. I didn't make any demands based on that statement, but placed the matter in his hands. He then determined that there are certain things that he would not require me to do, so that he would not have to explain to the police why there was a dead woman in his bed. And, also, so that he wouldn't have to go to the trouble of finding another slave and training her.
That said, even Gorean slavery is consensual. However, I prefer the term RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) to SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual). In other words, we know our potential Masters well enough to understand what it is that will be expected of us, and whether we can be comfortable placing ourselves under that kind of control. We also acknowledge that the conditions of our slavery may change at any time, at the whim of our Masters, and accept that risk. Even so, slaves have been known to beg release from their Masters, if they feel they are in danger, or if they realize that they cannot live with the terms of their slavery. This is usually an extreme situation, however.
So, my suggestion to you is that you spend some time learning about what Gor is really all about, and how you fit into that scheme of things. Be aware that there is a lot of misinformation floating about on the web. Anyone who has access to a computer can put up a website and call themself an expert. The best place to go for information about Gor is to the source itself, John Norman's books. Start with the first one, Tarnsman of Gor, and read your way through them. Pay attention not only to the story, but also the philosophy contained in them. Spend time contemplating how what you read applies to you. Here are some other good places to learn about Gor: http://www.geocities.com/Delphius2002/id2.htm http://www.pantheus.com/TGV.shtml
Here's another place to visit. Although it's not Gorean, it's awfully close to the Gorean model of slavery: http://rlslavery.com
I also suggest that you spend some time in self-reflection. Think about what it is that draws you to this lifestyle, and what you want out of it. Bear in mind that this exploration will most likely take a lifetime; I know that I am continually learning things about myself. Now, there are many more kinds of slavery than what is practiced by Goreans. It may be that you will find another form of slavery that appeals more to you, that will still allow your Dominant side to come through. It may be that you find yourself better expressed as a Free Woman, who is submissive to her Companion but also owns slaves of her own.
As to whether you should stay with this man who currently holds your leash? That is something that only you can decide. In my experience, there are three kinds of people who go into the role-playing environments. There are those who are merely playing a game, and feel no more a commitment to Gor than they might to the World of Warcraft. Then there are those who simply want some quick and easy cybersex. And then there are those who are seeking an extention of their lives off line, whose on-line personae cannot be separated from who they are when the computers are turned off. I think you need to determine which kind you want to be, and what kind your Master is, and then see if those two things match.
Good luck to you. If you have any further questions, feel free to contact me again.
