Expert: awhitecloud - 8/26/2009

Question
I just met a man online who is very into BDSM, and particularly the D/s relationship.  I have never been part of this lifestyle, but after speaking with him, very much want to be. I have tried to be his submissive, and love it!  We haven't physically met yet, because of disagreements.  He insists that I apologize for things that aren't my fault, and puts me on probation constantly.  Probation, to him, is freezing me out until I apologize.  I want to apologize, and have, it's just that is this common?  In a D/s relationship am I always going to be wrong?  I get the feeling that right and wrong don't matter so much, it's the feeling, and punishment behind it that is what is driving this, and that the arguments are a test of my willingness to be punished accordingly.  If this is the case I can do that, but will always feel that I want to be punished for things I have actually done.  I do very much look forward to being punished, and want it very much, but why can't I be punished for things I have actually done wrong?  What should I do?

Answer
no it is not normal to be punished for things you have not done.  And the freezing thing I fear is more of the online Dom thing.  Maybe you need to seek out a local area munch and get to meet other live living Dom's and sub's and they will in turn help you to understand the lifestyle better.

Maybe you need to be looking for a different Dom to be with as well.  Please make your concerns known to the Dom your with online and see what he says.

I hope you find what your looking for.

awhitecloud