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About CougarDomme
Expertise
I can answer any question about BDSM in practice, theory or relationships

Experience
I have been in the BDSM scene for 25 years. I am a prodomme with a specialty of medical play. I give demonstrations on safe, sane and consensual play in the area of play: sounds, needle play, medical,saline infusions,sterile procedure,fisting,fire,knife and RACK edge play.

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FLOG (St.Louis) Leather and Lace (St. Louis) Amatorius (Virginia) Black Rose (DC)Wicked (Raleigh NC)

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I have a Master's degree in Nursing

 
   

You are here:  Experts > People/Relationships > BDSM > BDSM > Vanilla, with a Slave fiance'

BDSM - Vanilla, with a Slave fiance'


Expert: CougarDomme - 8/29/2009

Question
I am a Vanilla male, new to the lifestyle. I have been introduced to it by my Slave fiance', who has been in the BDSM lifestyle for years now. She has been owned in the past, but is not now.
We have been talking with, and being visited regularly by a very nice Master, whom she has taken a consideration collar from. (with my permission) My first question is thus, I know that in a traditional Master/Slave relationship, the collar means ownership. We however belong to each other in our vanilla relationship. Has this type of relationship had any good outcomes for other couples with like circumstances? If you even know.
Secondly, With the dynamics being different in this type of set up, what kind of role would I play? Am I allowed to say not tonight to the master, or would he have complete control over her, even if I didnt want him too?
i guess what I am truely looking for, is advise on how to set this up right so that I am not left out in the "Cold" as it were in this. I want to be an active part in this with my fiance' and show my support, but at the same time, I do not want to be "used" for my woman. If that even makes any sense.
Any information would be most helpful. Thanks


Answer
Your relationahip with her has virtually no chance of succeeding unless you get in to the BDSM scene. You either need to get into the game or cut her loose. This is a need she has that is as vital as breathing to those of us that are into it.  Fish or cut bait.

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