Expert: Lady Aryana - 8/27/2009

Question
I am new to being a submissive and I have a mistress that isn't willing to take us to the next step until I have researched this to make sure I understand what I am getting into, but the more I research the confused I have become. I know that every fiber of me tells me I want to be a good submissive and I don't want to anger her with my need for guidance.

Answer
Jennifer,

First off, this is a learning process, and if she isn't willing to teach you then you might be in the wrong relationship to start with. No one enters into D/s BDSM Master/slave/Mistress/slave/submissive without having to learn somewhere. It is always best to learn from the one who you submit to before going and thinking you already know everything you need to know.

As for the research, what is it that is confusing you? If this is what you want/desire then what and where are you looking to be so confused about what you are learning?

I can make all the suggestions in the world, what books to read, what sites I think are best for you, and so forth, although until your Mistress is willing to help you discover this side of yourself, then no matter what you read, until you try it in real time, nothing you read will be any use to you... It's not until we put our foot in the water, and take the first step to learn to swim does everything we learned in class everything we learned in books about how not to drown will we actually figure out this is something we can and do want to do or something we decided simply isn't what you want.

I am sorry but for you to research sounds like to me, shes wanting the joys of having a submissive, but not the work in teaching someone what SHE wants, and help them learn.

If you are still wanting more information let me know, and I will *suggest* books, and maybe sites, but remember, until she steps up and says, hey, I am willing to help you learn while I teach you what I want, nothing you read or see is going to be any good for you. You need someone who is willing to take that first step with you and show you just what it means for them to be a Owner.....

Good luck

Lady Aryana