Expert: ziggy ziegler - 8/29/2009

Question
Hi kind of a theoretical question.  

I've been reading blogs of submissives where alot of their submission comes from their partners knowing exactly what makes each other tick, EG When going on a date, what to make them wear and how to act, it seemed very personal.

When I read about Pro-Domme sessions, it seems very like, did this, this and this and this, but there was no real relationship behind it, was just acting generic kinks.  So I was wondering is it possible to 'really' D/s with a stranger?  I mean you can be or pretend to be because you like it, but how can you really understand what the other wants and how to elicit those things?   

Is there anything you could elaborate/educate me on about this?

thanks.

Answer
Dear Kevin

Thank you for your question.. i happen to really enjoy theoretical questions ...smiles.

It has been my experience that D/s and Prodomme session satisfy very different needs for both the dom and the submissive.

As you said,  In prodomme sessions the prodomme becomes aware of the likes and dislikes of the client it is still very much a business relationship where the submissive is allowed to exercise their fetishes and kinky needs that may not be possible with a vanilla partner ( wife or girl friend)Hence it is very one sided

You are absolutely right. D/s is a relationship dynamic that entails both the dominant and the submissive to learn each other. The dominants willingness to take control of the submissives daily life and the submissives desire to submit makes it possible for the dynamic to flourish and both to be fulfilled by their roles and the over all dynamic. This dynamic often extends itself far beyond the bedroom or play space.

I think that you can play with a stranger and if the top or dominant is very skilled at SM it could be a good session, but long term the play sessions tend to become less and less fulfilling. Its what a dominant learns about me outside the dungeon is what touches me and has a much deeper effect on me.

Thank you  for your question.. if you have additional questions please feel free to offer follow up questions

warmest regards
slave ziggy