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Expert: Lady Aryana - 9/7/2009


Question
Dear Lady Aryana,

I was married for a very long time to a vanilla guy.  I was always the one to provide sex to get sex.  Then I realized that whatever was great for him was just great with him.  When it came time to reciprocate?  Pfftt.  He always found some reason to beg off.

When I was in my mid-40s I started to really push for what I wanted.  That included kink.  Spanking, anal, MORE sex.  For me, since he was still vanilla.

By the end of my 40s, he had left me for someone plain.

So I went out and found some men willing to please me.  And I realized that I had been trying to top from the bottom with my ex and getting nowhere.  My fun didn't last long, however, as I moved, ended up injured (not through my lifestyle) and had to move into a nursing home for 3 years.

Even though I'm living on my own now, I haven't gone back to having sex.  I'm in a 'new' city despite being here three years.

Okay, to get to the point of me writing to you.  I am in the midst of writing a story with a Domme/Dom/male sub.  I would like to make it as realistic as possible.  I have done some studying of the D/s culture, but now I have some specific questions I need to ask.

If you agree, I can ask my questions here, or ask them in private if you prefer.

Thank you for you assistance.

Sincerely,

Renee

Answer
Renee,

I will try to answer your questions as well as I can depending on what you are asking. As for where to ask them I will leave this up to you. If you feel you would prefer to ask them here, then I have no issues with that. If you feel something might be to personal then you may ask me privately... I will get back with you as soon as I am able..

Good luck with your story.


Lady Aryana

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Old Guard, Victorn Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Email groups for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. I was collared to my Master, then we married Sept 25 2003. I am no longer in a relationship with him, although as D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either DD or D/s, or simply learning more in order to help others.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment although I am in a DD based relationship which has a very strong sense of D/s although it is NON sexual. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me, and at the moment I have to male slaves who would like to submit. Simply haven't had the time or place to do that yet. I know many egroups who can offer support. I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 22 yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I belong to the local BDSM community in AL, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and Old Guard. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

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