Expert: Lady Aryana - 9/18/2009

Question
Lady Aryana,

Thank you for taking the time to take this question.  My girlfriend and I have been together for about 2 years.  We have played around some with BDSM, mostly with spanking, and are looking at playing with harder limits.  She is the Domme, and I am the sub here.  I have been interested in this scene for as long as I can remember, but she is just getting into it.  I don't think she enjoys it near as much as I do, but has fun with it when we play.  We are wanting to play a lengthy "game" if you will, 4 or 5 days, as a Mistress/slave, but are not sure where to start.  I want to help her, but I don't want to control from the bottom if that makes sense.  

Do you have any ideas for how to prepare each of us for this or any words of advice?  Perhaps some rules or training techniques?

Thank you again for your help!

Answer
James,

Congrates on finding the lifestyle and a girlfriend who is willing to at least explore it with you. Now as for how to get her into a *Game* or more interested in it, let me suggest a few things.

First go out and buy her these books


The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance

The Art Of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women

Now as for ways to get something going for hours or days..

Make a coupon book, present it to her for the weekend... In it put things like, *Night of relaxation or pampering* *will cook and clean dinner* Will treat you to a body rub or bubble bath, wash and drying afterward. All the things you know she likes, breakfast in bed, Washing of the clothes while she watches her favorite show, a night where she controls the TV or gets to pick the movies she normally doesn't get to watch cause you aren't fond of them. Simply things, while she is watching TV massage her feet, rub her shoulders, offer her sex without expecting anything in return.

start out a day, where she gets to decide everything, what you both eat, where you go, what you do, how she wants to spend the same. No complaining from you, just smile and enjoy your time where she is in control. when the day is over I would also suggest that you make a contract for these times, where she decides what is punishable and how you will be punished, will it be on the spot, corner time, lecture, spanking, lack of sexual pleasure. Sign it and date it for a time period.

You simply need to treat her like a queen, and allow her to enjoy the pleasure of being spoiled, and once she gets used to that, she will take a little more control over time...

If you need anymore help please let me know

Lady Aryana