Aboutziggy ziegler Expertise I am available to answer questions pertaining to the Master slave dynamic. The slaves journey into submission, mentorship, service,leather lifestyle, household management, and training
Experience I am a 45 year old female slave who has been part of the BDSM/M/s lifestyle since 1983 and have traveled thought out the community presenting on a wide variety of subjects pertaining to the master slave dynamic. I am currently writing a book on topics concerning the slave. I also host a slaves retreat in TN each year which focuses on the self actualization of the consensual slave. Mrntoring and life couching for those involved in power exchange relationships
Organizations TES
MAST ROCHESTER NY
MAsT national
Education/Credentials Aside from learning from lifes experiences i have a BA in psychology and a masters in socialogy. i have studied gender and human sexuality in an ever changing world.
Awards and Honors Southeast slave 2006
International slave 2006
Am I a bad person? I truly feel that I am given the circumstances I will describe.
I am a submissive to an absolutely wonderful Mistress.
Recently, Mistress decided to quit smoking. Two weeks in, cold turkey, She is succeeding. I am doing my best to assist and support Her. It hasn't been easy for Her. It has affected Her mood to say the least. She is generally so warm, friendly and cheerful. At present, She is easily irritated and quite short with others. She realizes this and apologizes to one and all.
The problem I have is that I find Her mood and aggression to be arousing and exciting.
Someone I dearly love is suffering and I find the result exciting. My rational mind realizes this and yet I still feel the same reaction.
I keep this to myself, of course.
I am ashamed. I continually ask myself what is wrong with me. I know this is a rather silly question. I apologize for that. I would truly welcome your opinion. Thank you.
Answer Dear Melinda.
First let me say, although i don't know you personally, You are not a bad person. This lifestyle challenges every social and cultural norm out there. I believe those who follow this path are strong and couragious
I think sometimes we recognize something about ourselves in the oddest ways, but still its important information. Perhaps what has happened is that you recognize that your Mistress is someone you enjoy serving and maybe even love. However, what these last couple of weeks has shown you is that you may need more structure and discipline. Perhaps it might be a good fist step, to write out your self observations and feelings you are experiencing and or discovering. Perhaps what you are feeling is a need for stricter boundaries and consequences. Perhaps although you love your Mistress your strong personality may need her to tighten the reigns. The thought of that can be titillating and almost a turn on.. which is ok but if that is what you need it would be worth sharing that with your Mistress. Also if you and her play and haven't played in awhile for what ever reason, it might be good to see where things are with that as well.
As you know we are all very complex people and to me there are not wrong feelings, it is simply a matter of understanding them and sharing them in ways our partners can hear.
