Aboutziggy ziegler Expertise I am available to answer questions pertaining to the Master slave dynamic. The slaves journey into submission, mentorship, service,leather lifestyle, household management, and training
Experience I am a 45 year old female slave who has been part of the BDSM/M/s lifestyle since 1983 and have traveled thought out the community presenting on a wide variety of subjects pertaining to the master slave dynamic. I am currently writing a book on topics concerning the slave. I also host a slaves retreat in TN each year which focuses on the self actualization of the consensual slave. Mrntoring and life couching for those involved in power exchange relationships
Organizations TES
MAST ROCHESTER NY
MAsT national
Education/Credentials Aside from learning from lifes experiences i have a BA in psychology and a masters in socialogy. i have studied gender and human sexuality in an ever changing world.
Awards and Honors Southeast slave 2006
International slave 2006
Question Hi, I'm a 38 year old woman exploring a relationship with a man who'd like to be my master. He has 25 years experience and I have very little. I find myself saying no to or putting up a struggle about most of his requests. For instance I understand the idea of being whipped and look forward to it but I don't want to wear nipple clamps because the pain is too great and the humiliation too deep. Most recently he handed me a cup of his urine in public and asked me to drink it, and I refused, freaked out and left. Later he said I need to be more open and not judge other people's fetishes. How do I communicate better so that I'm not always in the position of saying no and appearing disobedient, or is it perhaps that this man is not right for me? And is it even safe to engage in drinking someone else's urine?
Answer Greetings
Thank you for the questions.
The word no when associated with a request or order given by the master, may denote a limit. A limit is an indication of a fear based on either lack of experience or and inability to fulfill and obligation.
The buzz around the master slave community is that slaves shuold have no limits and if the master asks the slave to do something it should automatically be done with a full and willing heart. Where i believe this is true in spirit the fact remains we all have limits.
So if i may i would like share with you the idea of limits in reality.
To me it matters not about the ammount of time somone has been a master or slave. When two people come together and espeicially when the master has more experience than the slave, there is most likey to be reisistance. Not that you dont want to do it, you just can't.
The key to not having any limits and reducing limits is compatibility. This is only discovered by doing the work before the order is given to drink pee in public. It is safe to say that i am a no limit slave simply because Mistress has them for us.
Lets use the pee as an example: i dont honestly know many slaves that would jump at the chance to drink warm pee in public or at home. If this is his test that is all good, but its been my experience that compatible masters for me would give me smaller tests and build up to the bigger ones. Like what to wear, how to eat, postitions of honor, and other protocols that test the obediance of the slave
I say the definition of slave is the willingness to submit to the conditions of the master. One must understand what those conditions are before they can say yes or no. If the conditions of your master is that you do exactly as he says regardless of your fears or your apprehention. However, you feel that what he asks of you is far outside your ability, its time to sit down and talk about what things mean... When you are newer it is all about learning what you can and can't do. This requires some patience on behalf of the master as you learn more about yourself as a slave.
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I dont think that your response to the pee was way out of line: It was not out of line with your experience.
I do believe that obedience is a cornerstone of being as slave and sometimes what our owners ask of us can be difficult but should fall in line with our abilities. For example: i have no issuses with following mistresses orders but one thing i can abid is shit play (scat) i maybe able to submit to all the other conditions but that one ( you can have as many as you want) When i share that with a potential master he or she takes in that information and decsides if what you can't do is something he can live with. OR vise versa. I am not saying its ok to say no or disobey, i am simply saying that talking to one another about areas that are difficult may reveal whether the two of you are compatible or whether more work as to be done.
As a new person its really important to work with that slave... i never bought into the idea of "because i am the master and you are the slave" Nor do i agree with testing the slave using things that to the average person with be a normal limit. But then that is just me smiles..
So to aswer your last few questions I dont know if you are compatible but its worth really looking at. If he is testing you now with piss what is next and how will you end up feeling down the road when you are constantly being put in the postition of resisting? Urine is safe but again why would someone test you like that and then chastize you for resisting... it would make me think hmmmm how well does he know me and is this test of my submission is it appropriate to my level of experience and abilities?
