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Question
i have been in a M/s relationship long distance for 2+ years. Last night i turn on my im hoping to speak with Master and next to His name it says He has "connected" with another female. I'm crushed. He has never mentioned that He chatted with this person at all I have no idea who she is. When i asked Him about it i got "we chat no worries". Honestly i feel betrayed like my feelings mean nothing knowing that we have mutual friends who will see this as well. I haven't spoken to Him since, i have not made contact nor has he tried. I feel like a broken toy...am i out of line for feeling this way?
christie,
I have to say if you are upset cause he is connected to someone else, then I would have to say there are much deeper rooted issues here then you are mentioning. Granted it would be nice if he would have said he talks to others, but remember he is the Dominate in the relationship, and he is and will talk with whom ever he wishes. Just cause it says he is connected to someone doesn't mean he is in a relationship with another. I think you are out of line on this one. You need to give him the right to talk to who ever he wants cause he has that right, and remember it's not your place to decide who he can and can not talk to..
Now if and when you ever go into a full time relationship, then things might change and you might know a little more about who and when he talks to others, but for now, accept that there are going to be people he talks to you will not know about unless you ask and he decides you need to know.
If he keeps to many secrets from you then yea maybe then you need to find another way to express how you feel but for now, until you both agree that he needs to be just as open as he expects you to be, he has the right to decide what and what not to tell you.
Good luck
Lady Aryana
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Answers by Expert:
Lady Aryana
Expertise
Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Old Guard, Victorn Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Email groups for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. I was collared to my Master, then we married Sept 25 2003. I am no longer in a relationship with him, although as D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either DD or D/s, or simply learning more in order to help others.
Experience
I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment although I am in a DD based relationship which has a very strong sense of D/s although it is NON sexual. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me, and at the moment I have to male slaves who would like to submit. Simply haven't had the time or place to do that yet. I know many egroups who can offer support. I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 22 yrs in BDSM in one way or another
Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I belong to the local BDSM community in AL, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.
Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.
Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and Old Guard. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.
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