Expert: Eirene Nayar - 1/17/2010

Question
I have my first Master. He is very stern and I love it. My question is it okay to fall in love with your Master? Also what does it mean to use me? How responsible is he for me in other aspects of my life?

Answer
Hello Crystal,

I think its a natural progression of the M/s relationship that the sub loves her Master.  In my opinion and experience deep submission comes with complete surrender of all that you are to the one that owns you.  This includes the heart.  It happens over a length of time though as you learn each other.  If you have only known him a few weeks and you are thinking "i love Him"  its to soon and you are probably caught up in that initial euphoria  of being able to finally express all of those sub feelings to someone.  These relationships take time for trust to be established before you can find the richness it has to offer for those who take the steps and have the patience.  It cannot be rushed.  There is no fast track.  But the rewards are beyond your imagination.

The phrase you are asking about "What does it mean to use me?"  Means he has total use of you...your body, your mind..all of it is for his use.  For his pleasure and his needs.

As far as how responsible he should be in other aspects of your life...that should have been decided and negotiated prior to being collared/owned.  It really depends on the Master and his expectations for you.  So if possible have him make a list of expectations or rules for you and that might help let you know what your parameters are.  

i hope this has helped you some, and i wish you well on your journey into BDSM with the Master you have chosen to submit to.

Eirene