Expert: ziggy ziegler - 1/15/2010

Question
I just got into a master/slave relationship, my master lives in another state, he's married, what is your opinion on this really working for us

Answer

Greetings ophelia.

Thank you for your question.

Please know that this is based on my personal experiences and of course my inner perspective on master slave relationships. ( perhaps even relationships in general)

The first thought that come to mind is that he is married: Have you met his wife? Have you spoken to her in person and asked her if the M/s relationship you have with him is consensual with her? A lot of times people will tell you 'Oh its fine my wife knows about my need for a slave."

The basis of this type of relationship is consensual. For me this means everyone who is concerned to include the master or slaves spouse. She may know, but has she consented to your relationship with her husband? I think we have to understand that if we do take on the position as slave in a married masters life we are "second"  In the beginning this may not be of concern but later on down the line feelings of hurt and resentment may surface. For me, i would need full disclosure to his wife ( in person face to face) before i would be comfortable and even then i am not sure as i could do it long term.

Then there is a matter of being so far away: When will he visit? How much time will you need to spend with him? How much control will you want him to assert and how much can you accept? In my option the face to face on a consistent basis is crucial to this type of relationship. This is not to say that there are not masters and slaves that do this long distance, but there are set times for each to visit the other. The Internet is used only between visits.

My honest feelings are that there is a lot we can learn from all of our interactions and encounters with people; whether they last a week, a month or years. The most important thing is honesty. Its also important for you to know what it is that YOU want and or need, from this relationship. If you are ok with being second, of knowing that perhaps his wife doesn't know and that you are doing this long distance. Knowing all of that you will be able to determine for yourself if this relationship is; one, in line with the things  you want and value. Two, whether it will meet your needs and three; whether or  not the relationship will last.

In reality not one can predict if your relationships will last but I hope i have offered some thoughts so that you might assess for yourself if this is the right relationships for you.

Thank you again for the question... best of luck to you

Slave ziggy