Expert: XR - 10/3/2010

Question
I am seeing a professional Mistress who I went to see originally with a very naive view of what I was expecting - strictness and corporal punishment. She has over just a very few sessions moved this onto a talking about a journey into submission.She also tells me that she can see submission in my eyes.  I find this difficult to understand. In my real world I am strong and not at all submissive in the vanilla use of the word. In a BDSM context what does Mistress mean when she says I am submissive and that she can see it in my eyes?
In session with Mistress I willingly submit to Mistress but in my head it is just about throwing myself into the experience. I feel as though I can retrieve control at any point. It is simply my choice to submit. Sorry I find myself very confused. Are you able to help me understand more about what is happening. Mistress is very experienced and very professional. I have no reason to doubt her whatsoever but what she does not do is explain in terms that I can understand what she means by a journey into submission and how I should feel about being a submissive. Do my eyes really tell all? Any help or guidance would be appreciated as it is very confusing to someone who is very strong and confident in their real world?  

Answer
Hey John,
 I can't tell you what your Mistress does or doesn't see in your eyes, but I can tell you that you went to a Mistress. That would suggest that you're interested in submission. Often people who are strong and confident in the outside world like to be submissive in more intimate settings. Think of it as letting go after being in control all day long. It's pretty normal. Also, many people feel empowered because it's their choice to submit and they make the choice on whether or not to go on.
 As for your journey into submission... Keep in mind that any kink that you're experimenting with really comes down to what you're getting out of it. You can push your limits or let someone push your limits, but you don't have to buy into everything associated with that kink. You can choose what part turns you on, and stay away from the parts that don't. Ultimately nobody can tell you that you're not doing it right because you're not going into areas you're uncomfortable with. They can tell you you're not doing it right if you're being unsafe still.
 I hope that helps you out.