Expert: Master Shadow - 11/16/2010

Question
hello we i have been into bdsm since i can remember but my husband is still new. when i told him what i wanted he really enjoyed being a master but life happened and it went to the back burners till rescenly now we are trying to get back into it and have also taken on a second sub for training but my master is short of ideas and the confidence to be a proper master. can you share some ideas for how we should get back into it quickly ratherthen slowly and explain to hi when and what you should punish a slave for give him some ideas as to what rules he should be setting on a 24/7 basis and also as many punishment ideas that dont involve pain as that is what really turns myself and our other sub on

Answer
Getting into the swing of things quickly may not be exactly the best way to go about this. Realize, time has passed, and it often takes a bit for the body to get back to where it was, experience and tolerance wise. Bondage can be used for punishments. It inconveniences the slave or sub to be partially bound and still have to do daily chores and deal with things.

There is a problem with the definition here of the term "punishments". I think what you mean is play, or roleplay, rather than punishments. In role play, the punishments are all in the head, and everybody knows the truth, that it is play not punishment. I don't use the terms interchangeably. One is fun, and often pleasurable. The other is NOT fun, and is done to correct errant behaviors. Do not confuse the two of them, or possible confusion later on on the part of the sub or slave, or even the Dom can occur. It's not a good thing to tell your sub that punishment will occur should they continue doing whatever they're doing, only to have them think you were talking about play, not actual punishment.

As far as rules go, things like showing up for inspections first thing in the morning, having certain chores done by certain times, certain titles that your Dom wishes to be called, stuff like this. You could set up a tier system, where the first infraction or failure to obey rules results in a discussion, the second infraction gets you punished.

Basically, use your imaginations, and explore new frontiers. If you've "done it all" within your comfort zones, then either you aren't trying hard enough, or your comfort zones are too narrow. Push soft limits. Challenge each other, so to speak, as well as yourselves, and above all, have fun! When it ceases to be fun, then you're doing something wrong.



Hopes this helps!



                                             SINcerely in Leather,
                                             Master Shadow.