Expert: ziggy ziegler - 11/22/2010

Question
QUESTION: dear ziggly zeigler, please excuse why i don't give out my first name. i have been a pet to my owner for the past three months things have been going well til something happen where my owners ex got back into the picture i have been a loyal pet since the first time we talked, but it seems these days he treats me like i don't matter to him. heres is my question is it a pets place to have no feelings and to be treated like they don't matter or as my place is known that i have to be like the dog i am
neo_queen_20

ANSWER: Hello there Neo queen

Thank you for the question. Hmmmm i am sorry to hear you are going through a hard time.

I am a pet as well. Pet to me is a warm comfortable place i get to go with my owner. As deep as i can go into being her pet i still possess needs that are of a human nature.  Having said that, even pet owners must care for their pets. A lot of times the human pet/ owner relationship gets off track based on neglect. Like any relationship an owner has the right to mistreat or neglect his or her pet but at the end of the day that neglect may cost the owner the very thing he or she wants.

I am never one to day cut bait and run. That is something that is very personal to the individuals involved in the relationship. To answer your question, i do believe that it is valid for you to have feelings. For me being a pet does not mean that i forgo my feelings and my fears. But that of course is my personal view. Even my puppy dog expects me to be as loyal to him as he is to me. NO?

These relationships, as odd as they my seem to those not in them, should still be based on mutual respect and mutual open and honest communication. I would very much encourage you to perhaps journal for a few days to yourself... write it out, your feelings, thoughts, and understandings about what being a pet to you means. I often use this as a path to get to what i really feel and think. If your owner offers the chance to express your feelings you will be prepared to do so with clarity ( i have to do that sometimes)

This also gives your owner a chance to open up as well. I think in the end we all must choose our relationships and where we put our most precious energy.

I wish you the very best. If you need need to follow up please feel free to do so

warmest regards and best wishes
slave ziggy

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: dear ziggy,
my master says that he might want his ex back and when i told him my feelings for him he seemed to get flusterated. what is that called when a man does that. he says its love but when dealing with the ex since he was hurt so bad he rushed into something i was always told to take the time before doing something like that. how am i supposed to handle my master with this?

Answer
Dear Queen


Thank you for the question. As you can imagine this type of question can be difficult to answer; mainly because i don't have the benefit of knowing either of you. I can however, offer my personal experience and perceptions.

My experience with this is that there is not real effective way of "handling my master with this" Much to my shigrin i have found it is ill advised to try and get anyone to do anything they don't wish to do. "if she would only......." is something i used to say  a lot

Having said that, all is not lost. My thoughts and perceptions in this situation lead me to advise that you tap into what you think and feel about the situation separate from how you feel about you owner. This is not easy because we are so connected to them through the situation you my find yourself in.

What i am referring to is whether you will be able to share your owner with others; in this case his ex. If he wants her back he will do just that and may invite you to stay involved as his second. The poly lifestyle is not for everyone but invariably (based on the feelings for the master) slaves will agree to the situation purely out of emotion. When in fact the situation may not jive with what the individual may want and need.

I believe it is perfectly ok to have loving feelings for your owner. However, he may not have those same feelings or if he does he may have a difficult time expressing them for whatever reasons. If you find that you are not one to share his time then its important that you admit that to yourself first and then honestly to him. I realize that
you may not know how you feel; even that is important to know.

Having said that there are some pets/slaves that are very comfortable in the poly lifestyle. It seems to  meet their needs and in the case of masters and slaves who live together, it provides opportunities to learn cooperation, caring and sharing of life experiences. No matter what kind of situation you are presented with i really want to encourage you to consider the following.

1. How do i really feel about your master?
2. What do you need from him in order to remain in this relationship and can i share those things effectively?
3. How do i feel about him reconnecting with his ex?
4. Can i share his affections with out becoming jealous and resentful?
5. Do you honestly feel your owner will lookout for your best interests?
6. How do i feel about polyamorous relationships? (might want to do some reading about it.)
7. How do i view my role as a pet.

I think that should cover it for now .... smiles.

warm regards
slave ziggy