Expert: awhitecloud - 11/5/2010

Question
i am very new to the scene and new nothing until a few weeks ago when i met a new parter who was upfront about being into bdsm, ive always been openminded with sex so have had no problem with the things that have been introduced there, i like the bondage and pain aspects and have taken to the submissive role although we do both like to switch, its the play outside of the bedroom i find difficult, during sex i can obey and be controlled but being told what to do outside of it i am challenging, for example being told to do something while i was at work my response was some colourful language, i asked a friend who is experienced and she said he is asking too much too quick for someone completely new to the scene..

is my friend right or am i just not suitable? and can this kind of thing be kept private in the bedroom or does it have to continue outside to be sucessful?

Answer
you need to take small steps outside the bedroom and some are never comfortable with it at all, it just does not work for them.

It is something you both need to talk about and to make sure your feeling are known and that you both understand what each other is wanting over all.

Maybe you just need to take it to outside the bedroom at home, well out shopping or something other then when you are at work. Maybe it needs to be with more then sexual aspects of your submission as well, to allow you to grow into the role more.

Take it slow and communicate, even if you most do so through e-mail.  But keep the lines of communication open and use them often. You have to or it will all fall apart, pass on what your feeling.

I hope I have helped a little but.

awhitecloud