Expert: ziggy ziegler - 12/4/2010

Question
My Master is considering ending our relationship because i was bad, and disobeyed severely; causing awful damage. we are still new to the relationship, and though I've had many chances, i keep falling and displeasing my Master. he is giving me one final chance to convince him to keep me, but i don't know how or what to do. also, my master has firmly told me that he isn't sure he even wants me anymore, and my chances are low to convince him to keep me. i know i can be the slave i must be, but I'm struggling to get there at this point. what should i do if i may ask for help?

Answer
Dear Hannah

Thank you for you question and i am sorry you are going though a hard time.

You probably will find what i have to say difficult but please know my  answers are always based on my personal experience and what i have observed over the years.

First, and for most; Is this the master for you? If you believe yourself to be a slave perhaps this master isn't the master for you.

Being in a master slave dynamic means that the slave agrees to the constructs of that particular master. I am not saying that it isn't hard sometimes and that often we as slaves must examine the root of our disobedience/ resistance to orders/ or other thoughts and actions that interferer with the thing we wish for. What i am saying is that if this particular master has construct/ rules / protocols and expectations that you are unable to adhere to, it might be more of an ill matching. This does not mean that there is any actual fault on either of your parts.

Aside from all of that, i also believe that both parties must know their level of commitment. If you are not sure, and he is not sure, is one more chance to prove that you are not what he wants, worth going through? i know that there is a time to work it out and then there is a time to let go...i am not suggesting you are there, i am saying try to look at it objectively.

I don't know what you did or didn't do but it would seem more hopeful if the master and you both could get past it so that you could work on the dynamic you both desire. I have always said the relationship with regards to power, the master is definitely the one with the power to lead and direct the dynamic of the relationship. However, no relationship Master slave or otherwise can stand the chance of success unless both parties equally invest their time, energy and commitment to the relationship and its success. M/s relationships don't succeed under dares or when one person holds the relationship and its continuation hostage."i am not sure i even want you anymore."

At some point we all have to determine what is working and what is not. Try not to wait for the relationship to explode before you make the choice to leave or stay. If you make the choice to stay make the commitment to obey and follow instructions. Commit yourself the surrender and make all of your words and actions reflect that commitment. If you choose to leave, do so honorably. Share with your master why you feel it is not going to work and how you would like to proceed in the separation and them work on moving forward. I say to do this before it completely explodes because if you don't,even though you will survive the separation it may come at deep emotional cost.

It is a hard place to be in but how you handle this will help you in your next relationship M/s or otherwise.

I wish you the very best of luck in what you seak

warmest regards
slave ziggy