Expert: Master Shadow - 12/1/2010

Question
I have always been fascinated by the Master/Slave relationship and I know that I will never be able to dominate anyone, I'm just not that kind of girl. But... Lately, I've been having a lot of trouble finding a Master, someone to look after me. My last one left because I wasn't the type of submissive he wanted so I started wondering if there was more than just one type? I'm really new to this and I was wondering if you could help me find my place in the submissive community. I would really love your help. ^^

Answer
Well, finding "your place" in the community, per se, would be up to you and what you make it. I would suggest, however, that you check the internet for local munches in your area. These would be your safest bet, as they are public, usually have numerous people attending, and are held in local restaurants in a relaxed informal atmosphere.

While there, you can ask questions, and mingle with other people of a like minded nature who will be more than willing to help, but also realize, many are also fairly new, so always check what you are told with others until you become familiar with the real lifestyle, not some fictional book version of what it is.

The bdsm lifestyle is not tie me down and f*ck me. It is real. The pain, whips, orders, etc are actual lifestyle. What you see in movies (Usually really cheap porn) is just that, stuff you see in movies. Be open minded about what you see, hear and learn. You should do fine. There are also websites like Gloria-Brame.com that have a wealth of information available for both the experienced player as well as those new to the lifestyle.

As to types of submissives, there are two types, those you want as your submissive, and those whom you do not, basically. It depends mainly on how the two get along, and wether they fulfill each other's needs that matters. If they are into giving pain, and the other is into more the control and authority dynamic, then it probably won't work out well. Best bet, be you, learn much, and explore often, safely, with only those you know. Remember, also, it's supposed to be fun. When it stops being fun, then there is something wrong, and it is time to rethink things.


Hope this helps!



                                              Sincerely in Leather,
                                              Master Shadow.