Expert: Robert Rubel - 12/25/2010

Question
Hey so I want to be a sex slave I'm 16 and it's the only thing that gets me turned on being someones slave but I don't know how to get a master.  Any tips?

Answer
Hi, Theresa,

You're a bit young for this.  You'll be snatched up in a heartbeat if you're not careful -- there are dangerous people out there and you could use some training in the subculture of Masters and slaves.

I'd start by going on Amazon and looking at some of the non-fiction books about Master/slave material.  I'm the author of a four-book set about Master/slave relations, and the first book, Master/slave Relations: Handbook of theory and practice.

Next, you might want to do some reading about BDSM -- Bondage/Discipline; Dominance/submission; sado-masochism.  BDSM is involved with the M/s structure.

You also would want to be reading about sex techniques.  Books such as: Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man.  Here is a bunch of stuff on blow jobs:  


You have to learn how to do hand jobs first…
http://www.handjobadvice.com/hand-job-advice-intro.html

For basic techniques...
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=e5e9f6611e2ee05a31ce

http://www.tube8.com/teen/horny-teen-amia-getting-her-ass-cummed-on-by-her-profe...


Unusual technique - never seen it done this way (it's the same technique for the entire vid, so you don't need to watch the whole thing):

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=e29098d9d152511503ab

Deep Throating:
http://tdte.porkyhost.com/instruction.htm

Fucking technique - hip action
http://www.tube8.com/hardcore/better-tennis-calls/162115/

+++++++

Now, until you're 21, you won't be able to attend Master/slave conferences.  There are six of them in the U.S.  Washington, DC; Atlanta, GA; Phoenix, AZ; San Jose, CA; Indianapolis, IN; and Dallas, TX.  These are the conferences where you learn about this lifestyle.

Even now, though, you might consider joining www.Fetlife.com  It's free and it's the Facebook for BDSM and Master/slave folks.  If you go on there, I'm Dr_Bob and you're welcome to link to me.

I suggest this, as there are lots and lots of "groups" in Fetlife that are for submissives/slaves, Master/slave topics, and such.  You'd pick up a lot of info.  

**** You need to learn the difference between the ways the Master/slave relations work in the Leather community and in the straight BDSM community.  My book will get you started.  Also, I conduct a monthly free webinar on Master/slave topics.  If you're interested in that, then email me and I'll send you links.  PowerExchangeEditor@yahoo.com.  I'll also send you a "resources" handout for BDSM and M/s topics.

Now, here's something you may not have thought of.

In the world of Leather, when a potential slave petitions a possible Master, the Master is likely to ask: "What do you bring to the table?  Why should I spend considerable time and money on you?"  Translation: stay in school, go to college, learn stuff.  The more skilled/talented you are, the better job you hold, the better quality Master you can attract.

Your risk:  Any man will be overjoyed to have you as a sex slave.  Trouble is, you're a bit young to be able to tell whether the guy is a liar or a truth-teller.  Also, the kinds of high-quality Masters wouldn't touch a girl of your age with a ten-foot pole.  Even when you turn 18 you'll have trouble attracting senior Masters.  Once you have about five years of experience in the BDSM/Leather life, you'll be MUCH more valuable.  

My suggestion is that you go on Fetlife and on your profile explain that you're looking for a mentor or for an established Master to put you under his "house protection."  This should be someone that you can meet, not a long-distance relationship.  Also, I'd STRONGLY urge you to find a BDSM club in your city and find some way to contact a senior submissive who can guide you and protect you.

What you don't yet "get" is that when you permit an honorable Master to have total authority over you, that Master is now responsible for all of you.  Your financial, educational, social, psychological, medical, spiritual, and emotional wellbeing.  It's like marriage.  The Leather Masters all know this stuff cold; the BDSM "masters" seldom do.  The entire way that M/s is practiced in the Leather and Not-Leather communities is VERY different.

Also, you may be in a city that has a MAsT chapter (Masters And slaves Together).  If so, run, do not walk, to find that chapter president and show him this letter.  He will know what to do.  Do an Internet search for: mast chapters.  You'll get lots of material.

Okay.  If you have other questions, feel free to ask follow-on questions.

PLEASE do this safely; you can get really fucked over if you do this wrong.

Bob