Expert: awhitecloud - 2/19/2010

Question
I am nineteen years old, and a virgin. I have been with my Master for about six months now, and love him deeply. He is a lot older than me, and a lot more experienced. He is my first Master, and I hope he will be my last, though I know the chances of staying with your first love are extremely small, regardless of the type of relationship.

Even though we have been together for so long, we have not had actual sex. We have done just about everything else, but no vaginal sex. This is my doing. Simply put, my Master is very well endowed, and I am absolutely terrified of our first time. We have discussed it many times, and though he has promised me as much time as I need, he has also told me that he can make no promises to be at all gentle. I have been doing some research, and I've read that the vagina is generally six inches deep. While my Master isnt breaking any records, he is still significantly bigger than this. When I mentioned this to him, and asked if that meant he could only go six inches in, he said "Dont worry, your body will adjust to fit me."

I really do want to have sex with him. Most of the time, it's the most erotic thing I can think of. It has gotten to the point a few times that I was sure I was ready, and in bed with him ready to go...until he takes his pants off, and I have to stop things where they are.

He has been so patient these last few months, and I know these false alarms must be driving him insane. I dont know why I'm still so terrified! Maybe it wouldnt be so bad if I knew exactly what to expect...but really, after the comment about my body "adjusting" to him, I'm afraid to ask anymore.

Is he intending to pound my insides into the right shape? Am I just being completely paranoid? How can I get over this insane fear of sex?

Answer
I am not sure how to answer this one at all.  For myself personal I would say to just have sex with your Master.  Yes he might be larger then some, but your body will take it all(just between you and myself...it can be more fun with larger men they can reach your g-spot).

I have hard both sides over the years, and well I would say to just move forward with your Master and enjoy life with him. The only way I would not is if your planing on saving it for when you are married.  But then you should have not gotten into a relationship where one would expect to have sex with you.

Take a nice hot bath, as your Master to help you relax with some nice oils rubbed into your skin and just go for it and enjoy it.  Yes it might hurt but it is a good hurt, that I can not explain to you.  It is just something one most experience.

Talk with him be open and honest with him on the whole thing.  And if it would help tell him that once you say Yes put it into writhing, that it is a go no matter what you say.  I know for myself that my heart will say yes but then my brain tries to get out of things.

This is between the two of you, and no one can tell you what is right or wrong.  Think it over know your heart and then talk to him and take what ever steps you need to.

Thanks for the question I wish you both luck and be careful.

awhitecloud