Expert: Eirene Nayar - 4/20/2010

Question
Hi,

I've been talking to this domme in email and she keeps asking me "how you would best serve me." I mentioned what I was into and that I would serve her every command/desire/whim. This seem just to piss her off more. I am at my wits end. Any help on what to say/do (we haven't met yet) would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

Answer
Hello Mike,

First off, unless asked don't mention what *you* are into.  That was not her request.  And the generic response of "serving her every command desire and whim" would piss many a Domme off.  She is looking at you to see if you stand out among all the other boys that clamor to be at her feet.  So Mike, what does make you special?  Why should she choose you?  Good submissive boys are very very hard to find.

What kind of stuff is She into?  Don't ask...*notice*  *listen*.  Women tell all their wants and desires to men they are interested in.  Are you listening to her?  

Suggestions:  I know you are only communicating by email right now so write something for her.  Something erotic and sweet.  If you need ideas on how and what, read some women's erotica and BDSM stories.  Not the junk men read but the stuff women read.  For example you could write a description on how you would approach her head lowered and kneel before her high heeled boots...ask for permission to touch.  (Always, always ask permission to touch any part of a female Domme!!).  And then sensually message the ache out of her tired feet. Run her a bath with candles lit and scented water to soak away the day... maybe she would let you bath her with a soft sponge or even wash her hair.  Treat her as the treasure she is and prove to her over and over in actions that every thought of hers *is* your most greatest desire.

In Real Life face to face the aforementioned would still apply along with ideas like....What does she do in her spare time?  Does she love cooking?  Does she hate cooking and would rather she own a boy that can cook?  (Take some lessons and learn if you don't know now).  Does she like to read?  What kinds of books?  Does she like to be read to?  How does she like her house cleaned?  Clothing washed and pressed?

On the sensual side... How does she like to be kissed?  Touched?  Fucked?  Hard or soft?  Does it depend on her mood?  Are you good at oral sex?  Get good at it.  There *is* a technique to it.  Does she liked to be held after?  Would she rather you both took a shower together after sex...soaping and cleaning her body all over.

I went a bit crazy with this answer but I hoped it has helped some and given you other ideas as well.  Good luck

Eirene Nayar