You are here:
- Home
- People/Relationships
- BDSM
- BDSM
- collaring my slave
BDSM/collaring my slave
Advertisement
Question
My girlfriend and I have recently gotten pretty serious about our M/s relationship. I wish to collar my slave during an upcoming camping trip. I know that collaring is almost entirely mental, but not finding much online to support this claim. (Mostly collar retail sites.) This will be a special moment, and a changing moment in our lives, both personal and M/s. My question is this; How can I convey how special this means to me, to her?
Hi, Kevin, thanks for writing...
As you're doing an M/s collar, it is actually tremendously important. Here, your slave is surrendering AUTHORITY over herself to you. That is, she is giving you 100% control of her life and also surrendering the ability to say "no" to you. Yes, she may say "if it pleases you, Sir" (which means oookkkkaaaayyyy, I'll do it but I don't much want to) or "ONLY if it pleases you, Sir" (which means as close to "no" as she is permitted, but when you hear an "only if" construction, you are ethically bound to assess whether requiring her to do X is in HER best interest -- as in you believe that the lesson she will earn is sufficiently valuable to require her to do it despite her objections.
So -- the collaring ceremony (whatever you decide to say) is actually a very, very significant turning point in your lives, as it is -- essentially -- a marriage ceremony.
If you type: "collaring ceremony vows" into Google, you'll find a variety of ideas to create your own ceremony.
In Leather Heart and Soul,
Bob
(Fetlife = Dr_Bob)
Related Articles
Answers by Expert:
Robert Rubel
Expertise
Master/slave theory and practice, using protocols to make your world special, communication glitches within the M/s framework, serious problem solving in an M/s relationship, fire play.
Experience
Author of:
Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice;
Protocol Handbook for the Female slave (The gender-free version is titled:
Protocol Handbook for the Leather slave. They are essentially the same.)
M/s Relations: Communications 401 - the Advanced Course;
M/s Relations: Solutions 402 -- Living in Harmony
There are other books, but only these are relevant to this category.
... and a few others. By the way, my slave is on the far left, and my Owner is in the middle. We've been together over six years, and have lived as a Leather Family since June, 2006.
Organizations
MAsT, NLA-I
Publications
See my website: www.RubelPresents.com and go to the "publications" tab.
Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison.
Have presented over 30 times in 2007 and 2008 at major weekend Leather and BDSM conferences. These are all listed on my website, www.RubelPresents.com along with all my presentation topics.
Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008
Past/Present Clients
I am currently mentoring two people, listed on my FetLife profile of Dr_Bob. I particularly enjoy mentoring FemDommes -- they often listen better. I have successfully transformed a select number of people. It's not a question of what I offer, it's a question of what you bring to the table.
©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.