Expert: Oscar G. - 6/8/2010

Question
(male)

Hi. I've been going out with my girlfriend for nearly a year now. I'm secretly an extreme masochist 'total' sub, and I've known for a while that she's a dom, but from what she's told me, she's only done soft, simple play, and not much more than flogging and breath control. I have much more extreme wants and needs - needle, knife play, wax, cbt (esp. urethral torture) and extreme electrosex, to name a few.

How could I tell her this, and get her to do more than a couple of whips in bed?

Thank you,
Ash

Answer
Hi Ash:

If you are sure she is Dominant/Top, then you should feel safe to tell her at least that you are Sub/bottom and that you are at least a bit maso. That alone should/could give her 'permission' to experiment with you her Sadistic side a bit perhaps.

Do not expect to be involved into hardcore stuff at first, but if she is a good girlfriend and  enjoy going out with her, you owe to yourself to explore with her how deep can each go. Styles may differ, but if she really likes you she may please you in some ways. Or learn a bit to become a pleasing sadist, at least for play. But also remember she may need to learn some skills before attempting some stuff with you. Better safe than sorry. But later on you could explore topics in common. And you both may up finding a decent common ground.
Best wishes. Be well, be safe have fun.
Oscar G.