Expert: ziggy ziegler - 6/25/2010

Question
QUESTION: Dear ziggy

I have submissive tendencies since childhood and just recently get acquainted with the term 'BDSM' while surfing for my fetish desires on Internet.My sexual orientation is straight and I enjoy foot worshiping, boot worshiping, bondage, orgasm denial, corporal punishments, and extreme humiliation.

But I'm confused with my fantasies of being humiliated and abused by a Mistress in front of a group of dominant female and males in a private party setting where i even fantasies forced nudity, force- bi and pleasuring dominant males at the will of Mistress. Despite being straight why  do I desire such kind of humiliation? can you suggest me how could I avoid or get rid of such desires?

regards

Ricky

ANSWER: Greetings Ricky.


Thank you for the question.

First, let me rest assure you there are are many straight men that feel a desire to be humiliated. How that humiliation is acted out varies from person to person. One thing that speaks to me about the BDSM community is that those desires are personal to the individual and for the most part is free from judgement.

Having said that,many straight male subs/slave express a desire to be humiliated and for most straight men, forced bi or bi sexual experiences ranks highest on the list of TYPES of humiliation. For me this type of humiliation is less about being gay... or bi or wanting to be with a man while others watch and more about surrendering.

Humiliation is one of those activities that is of great mystery to many. However, it has been my experience that it meets two very critical needs. Its deeper meaning to the bottom/sub/slave is; one, it represents the greatest form of surrender for the male sub.

Our culture, for all its modernization, still falls into the notion that men should be men and do manly things especially in a relationship. There is a great deal of pressure by folks around us to be something other then what a male sub wants for himself. ( to surrender to a worthy Mistress/master)

Humiliation play, allows the male sub to set all of those cultural notions and gives way to his ability to touch the surrender he desires. Two humiliation is a translation for the idea of TRUST... The desire to trust the dominant partner enough to allow humiliation at its highest level ( sex with men or forced bi) can be a hard set fantasy. Again it doesnt mean you want to be gay or that you are gay it represents the level you wish to surrender to a particular mistress.

"If it is her desire to have me have sex with a man even though i am straight and normally would never consider it i will obey because that is what i consider trust and surrender at its deepest level."

I can also see where the act of sex with a male dominant might also represent a high level of surrender to the male sub.

I think understanding the root of your desire for humiliation in various forms might be helpful in easing any concerns you have. If when meeting a Femme Dom you express your desire for humiliation, be clear with her what that form of play means to you and why you desire that. If you can build trust in her ( who ever she is) and work from that perspective this particular desire may become less hard set.

I also want to encourage you to not judge your desires as good or bad or something to fear. They are  your desires/fetishes and the key is to find someone trustworthy with similar desires. i understand that fantasies can be very powerful as long as they bounce around in your head. Its when we try the act them out they  become less significant. If you are able to find a local BDSM group near you i think you will find that other male subs have similar struggles with the notion of surrender for various reasons.

Thank you for your question. Please feel free to write back if  you have additional questions..

warm regards
slave ziggy  

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dear ziggy

Thanx for your answer ziggy and you have enlightened me on this issue of humiliation.Yes I must agree that I'm into extreme humiliation and punishment. I desire to share something with you. I REQUEST and PLEAD   you to deal with it personally rather than making this follow up question as public.

Friend I don't have any BDSM group in my country though I did try contacting other subs/slave through various forums/community. They shared with me terms like cuckolding, creamipie, fellatio and sissy slut. Though I didn't get into these BDSM terms extensively but after surfing through internet and reading experiences of other men/women, that bi-curious idea both excited and frightened me.

I desire to get into a 24/7 Mistress/slave relation with my wife. I'm so desperate to worship even the floor on which she would stand. But there is an internal conflict now going in my mind. I don't like the idea of my trophy wife having sex with another man and she using and abusing me as per with my fantasy of being humiliation and bi-curious.

Since last 1 year I'm fantasizing serving a dominant male under whim of a dominant Mistress.

I'm sharing a fantasy scene with you, so that you could have better picture of the state of my fantasizing mind.

I see myself licking that male boots with both sitting high on a couch and me lying prostrate before them, being abused, spitted on my face by both, been kicked brutally, being used as a doormat licking dirty soles of both Mistress and her dominant partner,then giving him a blow job with Mistress either using a vibrating butt plug on me or kicking my balls, or pulling my tied balls and both laughing and abusing me, then i been made to swallow the other man cum forcefully from his p****, from floor, from Mistress boot or from any vessel. YUCKS!!! at last i dream myself serving both of them as foot stool for hours and been stomped, trampled under Mistress heels and her partners boot.

Now freind just thinking about this situation with my Mistress wife give me shivers. I'm short of words to describe my feelings and emotions. this fantasy I have been imaging day and night for last 1 year.Please suggest me some solution. I getting difficulty now to whether choose my fantasy or my Mistress wife.  

thanx & Regards

Ricky

Answer
Dear Rick

I would like to answer your question... however i can not change the setting that makes this correspondence private... That has to come from you. Might i suggest you present a new question  not associated with this thread and make sure you select it as a private convo... again i wish to honor your request for privacy but it has to be set up at your end...

looking forward the receiving and answering your question.

warmest regards
slave ziggy