Expert: awhitecloud - 6/9/2010

Question
I have been approached by a submissive woman.  She said she has only been doing it for a short while but seems to know a lot about it but me being new I know nothing.  I have told her that I have never really done anything like this before and she did say she would be patient with me.  I have never really tried anything like this before and have been trying to find information online and mainly get pornography sites.  I found one site that started to give me some insight into this lifestyle But it really fell short on anything detailed.  I started to ask her simple questions about what she wanted and she took a round about way of answering.  I threw some ideas at her that I had come up with and she said they were okay but needed both rewards as well as punishments.  I understood this but the two of us being new to each other I asked her what she would like as rewards.  I figured she would know best but she told me to go to what my sexual strengths were.  My thing is that it is supposed to be about her for the rewards.  If it is a reward it should be something that pleases her not me if I understand it correctly hence why it is a reward.  

I found an answer for a Domme I think she is called.  But it was websites and books geared for a female dominant.  Where can I find advice and basically a starting point for information from a male dominant stand point?  Also is it normal that the sub would be unwilling to help the newer person who she said she would not mind with advice on what she does and does not like?

Answer
Okay first off you are going to find somethings out on your own a sub telling you it all is called Topping from the bottom.  Rewards are for a sud, but they need to be set up from the Dom as to what he wishes to give as a reward to a sub, it just means more.  So watch her learn about her and see what it is that she enjoys.  Maybe it can be a coffee and allowed to buy a book at the local book story. or it could be an afternoon with her friends.  To something like just to get extra time one on one with you to watch a movie or to go for a walk.

as far as sights go...well here are some.  I hope they help you both.

http://everything2.com/title/D%252Fs

http://www.domsub.info/rulesformasters.shtml

http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/

http://www.angelfire.com/extreme3/secretdelights/

I hope this helps come back again and ask more questions and I will do what I can to see if I can find you answers or ask around to get them for you.

Thank you,

awhitecloud