Expert: awhitecloud - 7/25/2010

Question
I have only been in the lifestyle for almost a year. My partner/Dom has been active for 20 yrs. Everything that we have tried I have really enjoyed it. We don't get a chance to "play" very often (kids at home %26 such). I'm in no rush but wish we could play more. I have a fear of him cheating. We have all been cheated on before haven't we? He is really into voyeurism and I'm fine with that, if only We both could watch. But He doesn't include me. He also would like other subs/slaves but I am not comfortable with seeing him with or knowing he is with another person instead of me. Who doesn't like exotic art? I love it. I just wish he looked at me with that passion as he does the pictures. I'm a very affectionate person and he is not. I'm proud to show him off either online or when we go out with friends, but I get the feeling he doesn't feel the same. Why should he show me off??? I'm no one special I guess. I love this man whole heartily and uncertain what his true feelings are for me. He didn't get much love from his parents when he was a child and was in the military for 6 yrs so I know that he has feelings pushed way down deep, just doesn't know how to get them to resurface. I could go on but I wont. I would greatly appreciate any advice on the matter before I loose my mind. Thank you for your time.

Answer
I am not sure what to tell you other then sit down and talk with him.  Even write to him and let him know how you feel.  Take baby steps and well work together at making it back in your life.  

Ask him what it is about the people in the picts that he enjoys, talk with him about it.  Get to really understand what it is that he is seeing.  You never know he might be thinking of you when he is looking at them?

You may want to talk with him and go to some couple counseling and see if you can get you both back on the track.  There are some great marriage groups even that do not coast as much.

Hang in there and well just try to talk with him, email to each other can help as well.

Thanks for the question and good luck,

awhitecloud