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Question
When is it proper to call a slave "girl?'
My Master refers to me as "girl." I thought that was his name for me only, I recently became aware that he calls many slaves and subs "girl." This upsets me because I thought I was his only "girl." Shouldn't I be refered to in a manner that is only used for me? Does that mean that I cal call other men "Master?"
Thanks!!
Hi, Joanna,
Tricky question.
So far as using the "girl" word, it's really, really important that you let your Master know that his using that name for others hurts your feelings and ask whether there may be a term/word that he would consider using just for you, or would he consider restricting that word only for you. As an example, might he call you "slave joanna"? That's the structure I use for my own slave.
I'm part of the Leather community, not part of the BDSM community. On the Leather side, "Master" is an earned rank and there is a sharp distinction between people who simply call themselves "Master" and those who have been presented their Masters Cover in a public ceremony by established Leather Masters.
When you are speaking with a true Leather Master, you would call them "Master XYZ". Lacking an earned rank, "Sir" works just fine. Argument: they aren't YOUR Master, thus you would not refer to them as "Master A".
By the way, if you're having communication issues, I've a book written specifically for communication issues in an M/s structure. You can look me up on Amazon.
Hope this helps,
Bob
Related Articles
Answers by Expert:
Robert Rubel
Expertise
Master/slave theory and practice, using protocols to make your world special, communication glitches within the M/s framework, serious problem solving in an M/s relationship, fire play.
Experience
Author of:
Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice;
Protocol Handbook for the Female slave (The gender-free version is titled:
Protocol Handbook for the Leather slave. They are essentially the same.)
M/s Relations: Communications 401 - the Advanced Course;
M/s Relations: Solutions 402 -- Living in Harmony
There are other books, but only these are relevant to this category.
... and a few others. By the way, my slave is on the far left, and my Owner is in the middle. We've been together over six years, and have lived as a Leather Family since June, 2006.
Organizations
MAsT, NLA-I
Publications
See my website: www.RubelPresents.com and go to the "publications" tab.
Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison.
Have presented over 30 times in 2007 and 2008 at major weekend Leather and BDSM conferences. These are all listed on my website, www.RubelPresents.com along with all my presentation topics.
Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008
Past/Present Clients
I am currently mentoring two people, listed on my FetLife profile of Dr_Bob. I particularly enjoy mentoring FemDommes -- they often listen better. I have successfully transformed a select number of people. It's not a question of what I offer, it's a question of what you bring to the table.
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