Expert: Oscar G. - 7/29/2010

Question
I am new to bdsm...have been spending lots of time with one Dom.  I am experiencing new sensations and intense emotions.  I am quickly becoming emotionally attached and I know he is aware of it.  I guess this is common for new subs but I am hoping I am not setting myself up for heartache?  He is taking me on an amazing journey and I would not turn back for anything.  How do new subs cope with the emotions?  I have opened myself up and I trust him completely, yet I am not sure where we will end up as there is no formal commitment.

Answer
Hi Lynn:

That is the main reason why casual playing of BDSM is not recommended at all since all feelings and sensations are highly amplified and augmented. The only way  to counter so much of the emotional lows you will feel (after the highs) is communication and closeness. That is why the personal connection , emotional and physical, is necessary to ameliorate the downsides of this kind of intense play.
The emotional romantic attachment may be a bit different, but does affect the connection as well. You may be getting new sensations and experiences, but the price to pay emotionally could be something you need to be aware of. In that way you will be able to decide if to pay it or not.
The best way to cope is being aware of what could happen or will happen, and prepare yourself for the outcome of it. Having  people to talk with and get close emotionally will help. But nothing beats having the intimate physical and mental connection with the lover who precisely put you in that state of euphoria.

I hope it makes sense and you can prepare yourself mentally for the roller coaster you will experience. All in all it would be a memorable ride, but you have to find out or prepare yourself after the thrill ride is over and know how will you land.
Best wishes your way. Be well, be safe and have fun.
Oscar G.