Expert: Robert Rubel - 8/3/2010

Question
I have been reevaluating the relationship that I presently have with my Dom and have an inquiry. We have been in a reltionship for over a year now and things have been wonderful. We understand each other's role but there is something I would like to broaden. I am someone that my Dom considers a brat from time to time. In regards to me I do not do always act that way intentionally, it just occurs at random at times. My question to You would be how do I suggest to my Dom that I wish to become more of a procedure and ritualistic type of submissive? I wish to have the structured dynamic within our D/s relationship. I wish to progress in training and the necessary knowledge of a true protocol submissive.

Answer
chibi,

Protocols are more associated with Master/slave structures than Dom/sub structures.  D/s is about power exchange while M/s is about authority exchange.  Once you have surrendered authority over yourself to your Master, then he prepares a Manual of Protocol for you to follow that represents the ways he wants things done.

At the risk of sounding self-serving, I'm the author of some books that speak directly to your questions.  The first book I've listed is all about setting up a structured relationship (M/s).  The next is about the typical Leather protocols that your Master may want to consider/know about as he prepares your own Manual of Protocol.  The third book is all about communication strategies within an M/s setting where there are certain protocols about how you may approach your Master and how he may respond to you (ie, with dignity, ever concerned about your well-being).

•   Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice (M/s Studies Books) by Robert J
       Rubel
•   Protocols: Handbook for the Female slave by Robert J Rubel
•   Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 – the advanced course

In Leather Heart and Spirit,

Bob
(And, you may want to join www.fetlife.com  It's free and there are a number of M/s groups on there where you can ask about anything.  There is even a High Protocol group.  If you join, I'm Dr_Bob.  Feel free to do a friends' exchange with me.)