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BDSM/lack mof interest from master?

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Expert: - 8/26/2010


Question
i am a begginer slave and my current master is the only one i have ever we have beeen together nearly 3 years...for the last couple of mothns i have seen his interest and communication with me wade to nearly nothing... in my previous vanilla world relationship i would have walked away..cuttin my looses before it did more damager to me..however with my master i am not sure that is something that is possible..
is his lack of interest and domination over me a sign that i should be packing my emotional bags and start heading out the door...??thanks

Answer
slave lillith,

It's really impossible for someone outside your relationship to comment.  Relationships are unique.

Yes, in a general way, it's common sense that if he's withdrawing, he's withdrawing.

I've written two books that are relevant to you, and you may want to consider picking them up.

• Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 – the advanced course
• Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402 – living in harmony

The first assumes that both of you are determined to improve your communications and wish to stay together.  

The second is more for someone in your situation: the relationship is being threatened by something unknown.  The book is specifically intended for couples where one seems to be drifting off and the other partner wants to throw the kitchen sink at stopping that process and rejuvenating the relationship.

For example, the book peels your relationship back to discussing values to see if there may be disagreement over them.

Couple of warnings about 402.  As a businessman, I've given a set of business-level problem-solving strategies and applied them to the M/s structure.  So, they're serious exercises to go through.  Second, and the worst of it, each person has to be honest with THEMSELVES about what they really believe is going wrong and what they clearly wish for themselves.

If you're on Fetlife, you're welcome to link to me as Dr_Bob-Bob_Rubel.  Then, I'd be more easily accessible to you.

In Lather Heart and Soul,

Bob

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Robert Rubel

Expertise

Master/slave theory and practice, using protocols to make your world special, communication glitches within the M/s framework, serious problem solving in an M/s relationship, fire play.

Experience

Author of: Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice; Protocol Handbook for the Female slave (The gender-free version is titled: Protocol Handbook for the Leather slave. They are essentially the same.) M/s Relations: Communications 401 - the Advanced Course; M/s Relations: Solutions 402 -- Living in Harmony There are other books, but only these are relevant to this category. ... and a few others. By the way, my slave is on the far left, and my Owner is in the middle. We've been together over six years, and have lived as a Leather Family since June, 2006.

Organizations
MAsT, NLA-I

Publications
See my website: www.RubelPresents.com and go to the "publications" tab.

Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison. Have presented over 30 times in 2007 and 2008 at major weekend Leather and BDSM conferences. These are all listed on my website, www.RubelPresents.com along with all my presentation topics.

Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008

Past/Present Clients
I am currently mentoring two people, listed on my FetLife profile of Dr_Bob. I particularly enjoy mentoring FemDommes -- they often listen better. I have successfully transformed a select number of people. It's not a question of what I offer, it's a question of what you bring to the table.

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