Expert: awhitecloud - 9/12/2010

Question
I hope this e-mail finds you well.  I have just recently went through a divorce and never really had time to explore how I really wanted a relationship to run.  I have started studying swingers and Master/Slave relationships.  I really enjoy reading about the Master/Slave relationships, ever since I read the Masters Creed I can not seem to quit doing research on the subject.  I am still a little confused though.  As a slave I am suppose to be open to my wants and needs with complete honesty, but does that mean that as a Master he should care what I have to say?  I am suppose to take care of my Master and give to him freely out of want to please him, but if I am sick or have a bad day to wear I just need a hug is he there for me?  I have always taken care of the man I am with with no selfishness, his wants and needs, his desires have always come first, but he was a liar who did not appreciate me in the least all he did was hit.  Is that the kind of dominance that is in this kind of relationship as well?  I want a relationship where the guy runs things like the way a house hold should be run.  The guy has the final decision.  I am there to raise the kids and make sure my man is taken care of, anything he needs he gets, however, I want to be appreciated as well.  Is that what this relationship is or do I need to be looking else where?  If it is where do you find a Master of such qualities?  Where do you find such unblemished trust from a guy who tells everything?  Sounds like a dream.

Answer
Okay being in a Master Slave relationship does not mean that you or the master are not human. We all have off days and sometime just need a hug.  As you grow in an relationship the Dom will learn to read you and you to read him. And yes you are to be open and honest just as he is to be with you.

Your master should care greatly about what you have to say, and I think you need to look more into the D/s aspects.  The Dom sub angles seem to spell out more rights with regards to the submissive. It is all about the same thing, and it is about what works for the two of you, not what someone wishes to call it.

It is a two way street and yes you both have to give and put into the relationship to get anything back form it. it is a lot of communication and that can not be said enough.

You can look for a Dom on www.fetlife.com as well on www.collarme.com

And just because he is the master does not mean he can not help or even do the wash or the dishes if needed. :-) we all have times that we need a little help.

Thank you for the question and I hope that I have helped you out just a little. If you do join fetlife look me up and say hello I use the same user name there as here.

I do wish you luck on your journey, and please if you have more questions come back and ask away, i will try my best to answer them for you.

Thanks again,

awhitecloud