Expert: awhitecloud - 9/3/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hi
I'm shifu from india. I'm 20 year old. I wanted to know if i'm a dom or a sub or a switch. I've been interested in bdsm for like entire my life. When i was a kid i liked tying myself up. I started masturbating when i was 8-9 years old. Seeing others tied up on tv used to get me off. I have researched a little bit about BDSM. But i have a problem identifying myself as either a sub or a dom because i like the idea of a female or a group of them tying me up and dominating over me plus i have this shoe fetish (that too since my childhood, i liked their high heels more than i did their boobs and i didn't know why back then). Also at the same time i like pretty girls tied up and tortured and want to do the same stuff to them. But i don't find guys in bondage attractive.  Sometimes i feel like i'm a switch but its really unclear to me.

I have this fantasy sometimes where a domina has captured me and dominates over me, and she also has a female sub and we both in bondage get to make out to each other during her (domina's) sessions with us.
You need anymore details i can give you.

ANSWER: Well sometimes a sub had a little bit of a Dom side in them, they are not a true switch, as they do not like to be a Dom for any given amount of time.  So if you only want to be a Dom for a little bit of time as in a play time.

So I would say that you are more of a sub then a Dom, and I do not know you, but from what you have said I would not think to call you a switch at all.

I hope that it gives you some peace of mind.  And please keep learning all you can as you are very young and you have a long ways to still go in life.  take it slow and just make sure you can get your needs meet as well do not just give it all to someone else.

Good luck i hope that I have helped you in some small way. Never stop learning and growing. the lifestyle has a lot to offer, and it works because you do not have to do it all just take what you like and enjoy.

Thank you,

awhitecloud

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks! I've found a mistress in my area. Will it be a good idea to meet her right now, or should i leave it for later until i know more about myself? Because like you said take it slow.

Answer
well I would get to know here chat with her and so on.  meet up even for coffee and let you know you want to go slow and to grow yourself, she might turn into something with time or even be a great mentor to help you grow and learn with.  Just be safe and please come back any time or look me up on www.fetlife.com that is a BDSM site as well that is free.  I use the same name there as here.

Thank you be safe and I do hope that all goes well for you.

awhitecloud