Expert: awhitecloud - 11/10/2011

Question
Hi,

I'm sort of new to all this. My husband, we have been together 3 years, introduced me to D/s.

My husband, Nik, is a submissive sissy, seemingly. He told me about being a crossdresser and a sissy about 9 months ago.

I didn't know anything about D/s until he told me. Since then I have been looking on the internet for information about sissy's and their Mistress'.

Nik told me what he could but of course it was all about how he wanted things, what he wanted me to do to him, what he expected.

Since then, I've been making my own way, deciding what I want from this. It seems though, that no matter what I want, Nik isn't prepared or won't accept my rules.  

He spends a lot of time on sissy sites, looking at pictures and captions, getting ideas he calls it. Not what I call it. I limited the time he could have on the sites, so now he just downloads a lot of pictures and looks at them all day.

He wants things done but wants them his way and isn't prepared to do the things I want him too or the way I want them done.

Any ideas, insight as to what I can do to shift the power over in our relationship.


Angel

Answer
Angel,

It sounds a lot like topping from the bottom.  It is not about his wants, it is about his service to your rules and that he most trust you are making the right decisions for him as well.

I think you need to step back and define what it is that you both want and the D/s aspects and then decide what your going to do.

I am sorry but you both need to look the over all direction, you can not say you want one thing and then go after the something else.  

I hope it helps.

awhitecloud