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BDSM/can a master &I slave both be married to other people &I make it work?
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Question
Hi my name is marie I am married but also a slave to another man. My master is married as well. Neither of our spouses are aware of our m/s relationship. We both want this (the m/s relationship) very badly but the problem is we have very little time to spend w/ each other &I our both jealous of the others situation (marriage/spouse) is it possible to make this work or should we part ways? I should mention we are both very much in love w/one another & that fact seems to "get in the way" of our m/s relationship because of our jealousy
t
Ack!
Well, I know of a stable structure here in Austin where Master and slave are married to others, BUT both the spouses know all about it and all four of them show up at most parties together.
I can't imagine how this will work out for you for two reasons...
First, your spouses will find out eventually and probably be seriously unhappy.
Second, you may come to realize that your M/s dynamic is more important than your respective marriages. My second wife and I both went through divorces to be together.
Jealousy is likely to work against a long-term relationship. You'll have to choose M/s or marriage, I suspect. However, every relationship is different and you can't comment on them from the outside. All I can offer are the perspectives I've written.
Hope you can get this sorted out.
Bob
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Answers by Expert:
Robert Rubel
Expertise
Master/slave theory and practice, using protocols to make your world special, communication glitches within the M/s framework, serious problem solving in an M/s relationship, fire play.
Experience
Author of:
Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice;
Protocol Handbook for the Female slave (The gender-free version is titled:
Protocol Handbook for the Leather slave. They are essentially the same.)
M/s Relations: Communications 401 - the Advanced Course;
M/s Relations: Solutions 402 -- Living in Harmony
There are other books, but only these are relevant to this category.
... and a few others. By the way, my slave is on the far left, and my Owner is in the middle. We've been together over six years, and have lived as a Leather Family since June, 2006.
Organizations
MAsT, NLA-I
Publications
See my website: www.RubelPresents.com and go to the "publications" tab.
Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison.
Have presented over 30 times in 2007 and 2008 at major weekend Leather and BDSM conferences. These are all listed on my website, www.RubelPresents.com along with all my presentation topics.
Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008
Past/Present Clients
I am currently mentoring two people, listed on my FetLife profile of Dr_Bob. I particularly enjoy mentoring FemDommes -- they often listen better. I have successfully transformed a select number of people. It's not a question of what I offer, it's a question of what you bring to the table.
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