Expert: Robert Rubel - 2/21/2011

Question
I am a switch (I do not identify as leather) and pretty new the world of BDSM. I now have my first kitten-submissive. she's more experienced than I am and I have been reading everything I can get my hands on to be the best Dom I can be to her.

I've been researching protocol and ritual and was wondering if you could direct me to some comprehensive books (or websites) on the topic.

My specific question is what are some ways my submissive can address me and show her respect in vanilla public without tipping off those who'd rather not know the nature of the relationship? she generally addresses me as Master or Sir and is not permitted to call me by my name.

Thank you for your time.

Answer
Hi, Andrew...

I apologize for the delay in replying; I was up in Edmonton, Alberta (Canada) since last Thursday presenting at Lupercalia -- a kink conference.

I'm the author of, "Protocols for the Female slave: Handbook of theory and practice."  That's the overall guide that you're looking for.

If you'll email me directly, I'll send you an attachment with all kinds of resources for you.  Links, books, etc.

++++

You already have the same public protocols that I use.  My slave may only use my given name as an emotional safeword.  That is, if I hurt her feelings, she will say, "Bob..."

Whether you're Leather or not doesn't matter.  The only thing that matters is that she does things the way you wish -- follows the protocols that you set forth.

Welcome to our little subculture.  You might want to find a local MAsT chapter (Masters And slaves Together) and join it.  That info is on the "resources" sheet that I'll send you.  Also, if you're not already a member of www.Fetlife.com (free), you might want to join and look around.  If you join, you're welcome to add me to your "friends" list.  I'm Dr_Bob

In Leather,

Bob