Expert: awhitecloud - 2/14/2011

Question
I've demonstrated interest in the bondage aspect of BDSM for 2 years now. But for the last week or so, I've gotten to thinking I might be a sub. And honestly, I'm so confused about that I'm having a hard time focusing on anything other than trying to figure that out. I fantasize about it a lot, there's just something about the idea of being used and not being in control that appeals to me, I think I'd like someone else making some decisions for me, I might like being made to do things I don't necessarily want to, and about half the time, it seems like the kind of thing I'd like to do in real life.
Then there's the other half of the time.
I feel on some level that I'd have too many limits to make it worth pursuing, there's a lot of aspects to it that seem common that I'm definitely put off by (S&M, service, protocol come to mind), and I wouldn't want a relationship of any sort to infringe on my life outside that too excessively. So that other half of the time, it seems I just really like bottoming.
The amount of uncertainty I have about this is driving me a bit mad, really. Do you have any advice?

Answer
You might be a switch, and that is not a bad thing. Maaybe give it a try and see what happens, nothing lost with trying it.

Mostly spend some time really paying attention to your heart and see where it leads you.

Join www.fetlife.com there you can join some groups and talk with other people and even talk with other switches and see if it is for you or not.

I so well understand your confussion, as I have it at times as well, as I learn and grow and when my wants and needs change.  It can all be fustrating at times and if you are lost in confussion and you can not shake it.

Hang in there and search you soul and see where it leads you.

I hope this has helped you even in a small way, good luck and feel free to look me up on fetlife.
Awhitecloud