Expert: awhitecloud - 2/21/2011

Question
Hi I am a female who is newly in a relationship with my Dom. We have been together less than 4 months. We live in different states; however we see each other two times a month for extended weekends. We talk and video chat and text daily-all day. He has been in the lifestyle for 10 years or so.When we met it was magical, he said he feel in-love with me within a week or so and collared me too.He has never collered anyone before. He has changed his habit of weekends going out and having sexcapades. He has opened his home to me and made space for me in his home. I have met family and friends, we have gone on extended vacations and even some swinger clubs. Being new to this lifestyle I was honest and let him know in advance I would be most comfortable if we watch others not participate. He agreed.I assured him in the future date we will be able to participate-he agreed. He has been honest about keeping untouched with a ex-girlfriend of 2yrs. He often has openly stated he wants to see she and me together. We agreed to do about a month from now.Well she called him after I returned home and asked to have dinner with him. He told her he would as me. After questioning he admitted dinner would include anal and oral.I told him I felt that was inconsiderate andthat we agreed to do this together and he was going back on his word. He said he would not go. I told him to go. He said he will not and we will not be doing anything with her. He said he was upset with the way I treated not about her. I said I need him to be more patient and considerate.Expecially our relationship is new. Why is he so annoyed did I overstep? He always asked me to tell him how I feel and what I think.

Answer
Okay you need to talk with him. He is the only one that can tell you if you did something wrong.   I am not totally sure why dinner needed to include anal or oral, but I do not need to.  I think you both need to communicate better. That is the key to making your relationship work. Even if you need to send him an e-mail or to write him a note, you need to see why he is upset so that you can understand it better.

I am not at all sure why he is upset he needs to be talking with you so that you understand what is going on.

If your not already on www.fetlife.com and he is okay with you joining it look me up we can chat more there, I have the same name there as here in all lower case letters

I hope have helped even a little.

Thanks for the question and good luck.

Awhitecloud