BDSM/protocal

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Expert: - 2/21/2011


Question
i have been in a D/s relationship for over a year now. HE expressed to me today that i need to follow protocol in regards to asking permission to please HIM. HE has never expressed that before. He has always allowed me to be spontaneous. HE is totally confusing me. HE has been in the lifestyle for over 30 yrs and i have been for over 10 yrs. i understand the workings of protocol but when i haven't had to follow it to the letter in this relationship how do i approach HIM about this change?

Answer
I would ask for permission to speak freely. Before that I would do some work I would write out what he has ask you to do now. Then I would write out what you told me. Do not question the change that would be wrong.

Now make a list of your questions and word them carefully. He might be trying to push you to grow in some other area of your life or he might just wish a change.

That part does not really matter it is the confusion you need to deal with. And it seems you are in some ways fighting the whole idea for it was that not that way before?  Talk with him clear your head, try to stop fighting the change make sure you have clear orders to follow on what he wishes you to do and how.

Thank you for the question it was a good one and it made me stop and look at some things. Good luck and I hope you find the answers your seeking deep inside.
Awhitecloud

BDSM

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awhitecloud

Expertise

Life questions in the area of D/s and real life relationships. I have been active in the Lifestyle for over 18 years and live it real time. Active in local munches for the last 16 years. Have practical life experiences that have brought me to a greater understanding of my self and the lifestyle. There is some part or aspect of the lifestyle in each part of my day. I am constantly thinking about something in the lifestyle. There is no part of my day that is not centered around the D/s lifestyle.

Experience

I have been active in the community for over 19 years. I have been helping people for the last 14 years on a number of boards. And I write articles for different on line as well other D/s publications. Have a published book and am now working on the second one. Helping other as well promoting the lifestyle in a healthy, safe way is what I want to keep trying to do.

Organizations
Spokane Power Exchange. Salem OR area...Wet Spot

Publications
D/s World .... Fbot..."The Subbie Journal" www.Fetlife.com

Education/Credentials
I have finished my Master's degree and have spent a great deal of time in the fields of physiology. And I did a D/s study for my Master's thesis, and I was surprised with the out come. D/s views may not be defined but most all relationships have some aspect of them. Have a D/s book "The subbie Journal? in it's third printing.

Awards and Honors
I have several for best article of the month from D/s World.

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