Expert: ziggy ziegler - 2/11/2011

Question
Hi, I have a friend that wanted me to be his mistress, we met for drinks and played around a bit. Afterwards he told me that he wanted me to be his slave - he said that deep down inside I like to be dominated? Can this be?
Thank you

Answer
Dear Charlene

Thank you for the question...

First, let me say clearly, no one can, nor should they say what station or role in D/s one should be. I think sometimes people can see things within us that we don't always.


I find that for most people its a process of explore, with safe partners, the various roles with in the power exchange dynamic. I also say to folks who are exploring these roles stay open but let your own heart and knowledge of self be the guide to what and who you will be.

The thing about roles is that they give us a way of navigating community and relationships. We don't have to use them but they do come in handy. The thing to remember is that there are variations to every role. For example: One may desire to be in a dominant role with another in every situation but in bed...this does not make her any less of a dominant it just means she may not want to have to direct her partner in bed. It goes without saying that power exchange relationships, like any other, can be complicated. However, if we start letting others define who we are, its possible for us to get involved with the wrong people.

If what your friend resonates with you, and only if it resonates with you, i encourage you to explore that part of yourself. Choose your partners wisely and see where things lead..That my friend is the wonders of sex positive experiences. Work towards your desires.

Again thank you for the question .. i hope it helps

warmest regards
slave ziggy