You are here:
- Home
- People/Relationships
- BDSM
- BDSM
- How do I start being a Dom Husband?
BDSM/How do I start being a Dom Husband?
Advertisement
Question
My wife is 13 years older, and really wants me to dominate her sexually, and I really like the sound of it but I really am not sure where to start? We have made many attempts but they always fail..... My wife tries to hint to me about things but I don't always pick up the hints. I really have like what we have done so far, but I just want it to flow better, and I want to be more verbal as well.. Please help me to start?
Hi, Isaac...
I apologize for the delayed reply. I've been up in Edmonton, Canada at a conference since last Thursday.
Wow.
You are in a similar situation as I am in. I suspect that you'll have to develop a new "way of being in the world" in order to convincingly bring your dominance out in the bedroom. That is, if you can't be rather dominant in regular life, it will be nearly impossible to do it in the bedroom.
Here's what I've considered and, to some extent, done.
1) Read books about being an Alpha male (lots available)
2) Read book (such as The Game) about how to be assertive around women. If you have enough money for it, there are lots of intensive courses to learn to become a "pick-up artist" (PUA).
3) Take some marital arts training
4) Somehow or other, learn about "rough body play" and rough sex
You get the idea.
I'll alert you, though, that in my own case, I have to "play act" at being dominant. It's just not who I am. I serve women and am very comfortable doing that. You may be that way, too.
Feel free to ask further questions.
Bob
- Add to this Answer
- Ask a Question
| Rating(1-10) | Knowledgeability = 10 | Clarity of Response = 10 | Politeness = 10 |
| Comment | thanks, I ha e ordered the books that you have requested and I think that I could be off to a good start. | ||
Related Articles
- Ask the Orthodox Rabbi - Requests of Wife in Judaism - Jewish Beliefs - New Bed in Second Marriage
- The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale
- Children's Book - Let It Shine Stories of Black Women Freedom Fighters - Childrens Books
- Sams Teach Yourself Drupal in 24 Hours by Jesse Feiler
- Pregnancy Week Fourteen - Pregnancy Calendar - Pregnancy Week by Week - Second Trimester - Week 14
Answers by Expert:
Robert Rubel
Expertise
Master/slave theory and practice, using protocols to make your world special, communication glitches within the M/s framework, serious problem solving in an M/s relationship, fire play.
Experience
Author of:
Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice;
Protocol Handbook for the Female slave (The gender-free version is titled:
Protocol Handbook for the Leather slave. They are essentially the same.)
M/s Relations: Communications 401 - the Advanced Course;
M/s Relations: Solutions 402 -- Living in Harmony
There are other books, but only these are relevant to this category.
... and a few others. By the way, my slave is on the far left, and my Owner is in the middle. We've been together over six years, and have lived as a Leather Family since June, 2006.
Organizations
MAsT, NLA-I
Publications
See my website: www.RubelPresents.com and go to the "publications" tab.
Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison.
Have presented over 30 times in 2007 and 2008 at major weekend Leather and BDSM conferences. These are all listed on my website, www.RubelPresents.com along with all my presentation topics.
Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008
Past/Present Clients
I am currently mentoring two people, listed on my FetLife profile of Dr_Bob. I particularly enjoy mentoring FemDommes -- they often listen better. I have successfully transformed a select number of people. It's not a question of what I offer, it's a question of what you bring to the table.
©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.