Expert: Robert Rubel - 3/8/2011

Question
My Girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half about 3 months in we started a M/s relationship. We are both brand new to this and as such. It has been full of ups and downs. The entire time we have been dating when ever she did something wrong i would give her a punishment that i thought fit. Doing so i sometimes gave her some that where too harsh. She asked that we make a list of punishable offenses. I decided to start with a list of punishments going for rank 1 to rank 10(being worst)and then fit the offenses into a rank but we are stuck we can't think of anything else to put on the list. Right now we have these. Swats 5 times rank of offense (rank1= 5, rank6= 30)  
Rank 1 - A pop in the mouth - Verbal chastisement
Rank 2 - Standing in the corner - Cleaning out/detailing car(mine)
Rank 3 - No sugar
Rank 4 - Kneeling with no movement for 15-20 minutes - Bound to the bed and left 30-45 minutes
Rank 5 - Hot suace
Rank 6 - Writing assignment - Kneeling on rice
Rank 7 - Watching a horror flick
Rank 8 - No reading or computer
Rank 9 - No touching
Rank 10 - Ignored

Answer
I'm the author of a four-book set on Master/slave Relations.  You might wish to read the following three as you are just starting out:


•   Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice (20050

•   Protocol Handbook for the Female slave: Handbook of Theory and Practice (2004)

•   Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 – the advanced course (2006)


The sole focus of a slave is to please.  If you keep finding her doing WRONG, you'll be focused on NEGATIVES instead of positives.  I highly, highly suggest that you not do that for minor things.  You'll ruin your relationship quite quickly.

Instead, consider developing levels of rewards when you catch her doing things RIGHT.  This way, you keep the relationship upbeat and fun, and you get an absolutely dedicated slave.

True "punishments" are only used for contract violations -- matters of ethics, for example.

"Corrections" are for protocol violations.  Until you write your own protocol manual for her (which is really a book of how to live with you) you don't have much to correct her about.  Unless you write down ALL your expectations of her, you and she (in particular) will find that they move around.  That is, you tell her to do x in y fashion.  Next time the situation comes up again, she does it in y fashion, just as you had told her.  But you have forgotten that you told her to do it in y fashion and you "punish" her for doing it that way and tell her to do it another way.

That's a guaranteed path to ending your M/s relationship.

Best ever,

Bob