Expert: ziggy ziegler - 3/16/2011

Question
I am 28 years old on Monday and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 10 years.  We have always been open minded in the bedroom and frequently try new things.  I've always fantasized about being a submissive or even a pet.  The problem is I don't know how to approach the subject with him.  Also, finding good resources is hard because I'm not familiar with the terms and lingo of the BDSM world.  I have been holding back this part of myself from him because I'm not sure how he'll react.  But, as I've gotten older I've come to realize that this is important to me and I feel as though I need this kind of structured lifestyle.  I want desperately to be owned but, I don't know how to ask for it.

Answer
hello there Meghan

Thanks for the question..

I find that sometimes its best to test the waters.... through the media.. What would happen if you rented "the secretary" or some other movie that has the type of relationship your wish to have and then use that as a way to broach the subject. What if we did that more outside the bedroom..If you have been in a relationship for ten years,,, you probably know him well enough to know how to communicate with him.. Its just a matter of opening the topic or finding a good segway.

One thing i think is important when coming out; i know it sounds odd and its a phase gay people usually use, But if you think about it you kinda are coming out to him... just as wanting to be owned... One thing i tell even those folks coming out is that its important to make it safe for him and for you.. its a journey for both of you. Take your time. You can use the internet to help you discover the terminology that is BDSM and Dominant submissive..

I hope i have given you a starting point.

warmest regards
slave ziggy