Expert: awhitecloud - 4/13/2011

Question
thank you for answering my previous question. my wife has signed a very lengthy D/s contract. She cannot complete tasks I set for her. says she is too Busy with work, kids, school. She was not too busy to text the boy she had an affair with. She tells me no other man has made her cum as much as me. (multiple orgasms even when she claims she "can't cum" "it's not going to work" "it's broken" etc..) At one time after finding out about her affair, she left-then came back claiming she cannot stay away from me, mostly because the sex. she claims no other man has cared about her-it was all about them. She has recently recommited to this marriage, loves the D/s, and we went over the contract line by line. She is onboard with everything and says she trusts me. She is also suffering from some sort of personality disorder. She cannot tell me how she feels. She separates emotions from sex. she has a problem telling the truth and withholding. One of my biggest problems is she is unable to apologize properly. sometimes when she has disrespected me, raised her voice or speaks in a nasty/sarcastic/condecending tone, I ask her to apologize she says she is not sorry and feels she has done nothing wrong ("i didn't roll my eyes-i didn't raise my voice, I was only 10 minutes late-not 20, I didn't do/say that") her response to my demand for an apology is met with "how can I apologize for something I don't feel sorry for?" then she will give in and say "I'm sorry you feel I raised my voice". I am on my last nerve with this woman. I love her with all of her faults and do not judge her. She just can't seem to do as I ask unless we are in the bedroom or out at a club. She has come so far in her affection, housekeeping, fixing dinner, I feel we are so close but something is missing-mostly her emotions and telling me how she feels, what she likes, what turns her on, what she thinks about while masturbating, etc...
How can I gain complete control? How can I get her to open up? Should I just beat her or make her cum until she is a blubbering mess?

Answer
As for the task....you give them to her and when they are to be finished by, it is her job then to do what ever it takes to have them done, no matter what or to pay the price for not.  There are no excesses for not doing things you most be accountable for your actions.  just as you teach your children you most teach and train her, you just have a child on your hands when you have a submissive.

And if she feels she needs more time to finish things, she needs to go and ask you if there might be more time given to complete something.  But it had better be a good reason not just because there was other things.  I have finished things sitting in the car waiting for the kids to get out of school....I have had to do some of my reading well I was ironing and even using the restroom.  But if I am given a task it is MY job to make sure it is done and done very well, no half ass work is ever allowed.

You need to start training her in what you want and when and the manner you wish it done and how she is allowed to speak to you and not allowed.  You will need to go over this every day for awhile, or she will through the I forgot crap at you and you can not allow that, she most not forget.

Well I hope once again that I have helped you some.

This is sorta fun to work with you and pick my brain, thank you and I do hope that you will look me up on www.fetlife.com.

Be well and safe and your always welcome to keep posting here as well.

awhitecloud