Expert: ziggy ziegler - 4/18/2011

Question
Hi there! My husband and I have been looking for quite some time now for a female slave to join our household. Both of us fully understand the level of responsibility required for owning a live-in slave, and we believe that we are financially and mentally stable enough to do so. However, we are having extreme difficulty in finding one. We have tried kink websites, but have had no luck. I was reading an online post that it might be a good idea to check out "munch or slosh from a group in our area." I have no idea what those are. Can you be of some assistance? Also, do you have any other recommendations as to where we can find a slave? We are both attractive, creative, and intelligent individuals who will be able to satisfy any slave's desires for complete dominance.

Answer
Dear Meg

Thank you for your question..

Finding a compatible slave for you and your husband. I tell people who are looking for a partner in M/s to get online and google "BDSM and the name of a sizable city in your area" for example... "BDSM Rochester NY" That should generate all the groups with and online presence in your area. I encourage people to get involved in local or not so local groups (groups you can drive to within an hours drive.) Go to their socials (munches or whatever they have) Go to their educational classes and what not. Use social networking like www.fetlife.com

Then there is attending BDSM events. There is generally one or more in your region.. out on the east coast there is the Master slave conference, Floating world.. and an a sundry of other events that go on throughout the year. Here again, Google "BDSM EVENTS in _________"

I believe in encouraging people to get involved in their local and regional groups and events for three main reasons.

1. Exposure: If you are not out there chances of meeting someone is like trying to shoot fish in  a barrel. Yes! E-harmony says one in ten relationships are found online. However, I think the connection can definitely be made online but what do you really know about the person you are meeting real time connections from the very beginning can be very eye opening.
 
2. Vetting: Because what you are looking for is so wonderfully specific having the chance to meet them as they interact with other in their community is so very important. i believe that how the other person behaves with others is a huge telling about how they will deal with you. You cant get that from online... It is also good for vetting you and your husband in the same way. Definitely don't need me to tell you that there are crazy folks out there. Just another way to be safe.

3.Education and relationship support: The groups in your area often have educational session that are nice to attend in order to get perspective on a variety of Master and slave relationships as well as some BDSM/Fetish topics. It is alway a great way to cast a broader net for your search. The Master slave conference is one of my favorites. Its packed with a nice balance of educational stuff as well as social gettin to know you sort of activities through out the weekend.

Anyway, bottom line? Online can be helpful but i have never really met anyone compatible; not that they are not out there but the chances of finding someone who is just as they are online is greatly reduced in the community. Get involved in your local groups and organizations and try and attend some regional events. There are definitely slaves out there looking for a worthy and compatible master/mistress.

I hope i have answered your question. I wish you the best in what you seek. I think you will find getting involved will have multiple benefits. Plus its really a lot of fun.

warmest regards
slave ziggy

1. Finding others