Expert: awhitecloud - 6/21/2011

Question
Hi.  I'm 20 years old and I'm very interested in BDSM. I've been interested since I was about 15 and experimented a little with a boyfriend around 18.  I know some of my kinks and I know I love submission.  My question is how do I find a relationship incorporating BDSM without jumping straight to sex.  I want to build a meaningful long term relationship, but I cannot begin with sex.  I just want to get to know others who are into BDSM like I am and hopefully meet a dom I can be happy with.  How do I enter the scene?  I've looked online, but most personals sites are just about no strings sex and there is no established scene where I live.  Thank you for any help.

Answer
I could not agree with your feelings more on building the relationship and then adding sex to it.

I do not know if your a member of www.fetlife.com yet or not, if not you may wish to join it and look for others in your area.  As well they post munches and other activities which could get you to places where you could met others in your area.

I know how frustrating it can be with most of the people it seems out there wish to have sex and pay and nothing more.  It is sad there is not any getting to know each other or dating just play and sex.  I wish people would stop and think not just wish to have kinky sex for there is so much more to the lifestyle then that.

Take it slow and well have some time to get into some groups where you can learn and as well get to look at things inside of yourself and allow yourself to get to grow as you explore and develop feather.

You are young and you need to look at your options and above all else be true to yourself. You seem to be wiser then your years and thank you for being so grounded in what you want in life.  please do not give that up and stand firm on what you want in your life and how you want it done.

awhitecloud