Expert: awhitecloud - 8/7/2011

Question
QUESTION: i am completely new on this scene and really i feel like a dear in headlights so to speak. my boyfriend seems to be into it allot but neither of us know how to begin at all. i think i would enjoy  his most secret fantasy. so my question is, how do i open up a comfortable dialogue, first off? and second how to tastefully  act on his as well as my own secret desires? (and by the way i have attempted straight out talking it doesn't seem to go over well) any advice would be GREATLY appreciated          sincerely  R&R

ANSWER: okay lets give this a try.

Maybe write each other little notes about different things that are your fantasy's and then make a list of them and from time to time take one and add it into what your doing to allow them to happen.  To take them all and just jump into them would be a little much so just take them slow and easy a little bit here and there.  

well the same is try for what you desire, try them out little by little.  Make a list of them and give it to him and allow him to see what works for him into what your doing.  Slow and easy is the name of the game.

Maybe start something with him where you write to each other once a week using things you think about and desire to have or try this will allow you to be closer and to work for the thing in and with each other.

Well I hope this helps you and will give you some ideas to think about. Thanks for the question and if you need more or this is not in the right direction please some back.

awhiteclouf

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thank you soo much for your response but my concern is my boyfriend all though he, him sure, would try pretty much anything i asked  he himself is a rather serious type in that sense he doesn't spend allot of time idling so im not sure he would necessarily appreciate the writing notes thing - i mean i have not tried yet but i just get that feeling  you know  and also shouldn't we be able to talk i mean even if its only a little face to face in the cold light of day so to speak? otherwise im afraid it could lead to something less than the honesty & trust we have now anyway again, any advice is really appreciated - sincerely  R&R

Answer
for some people it helps to write it allows you a different avenue for communication.  Not in any manner to mean that you never talk or to become dishonest.  Some people just can not talk about everything and it can help.  Talking face to face would be the best way....so maybe go to fetlife.com and well read or join a few groups and then take him there with you and talk about the different things on the sight.  Or even to spanking tub and look at some videos and well then talk.  Go for a walk and talk so he is still moving and you can just be together.  

So look be together and find out where it leads you together to try and to explore and to get into each others heads on different things to try and do with each other.  I am not sure what else I can tell you.

Look for ways to just open up with each other.  Two to find ways to become one in body and mind with all the hidden desires together.  Seek the inner peace, unity and harmony with each other, look at him each day with desire and looking for little hints of things he may want or how he says things.  

Sometimes, just little things can lead to telling you so much. never be in a rush for time to ever talk and to spend that time talking with each other.

I wish you the best of luck and I do wish you that inner peace and happiness that your so looking for.

awhitecloud