Expert: Robert Rubel - 8/19/2011

Question
Hello Sir,

I have read many of your posts and have greatly admired your responses thus am seeking your insight on a matter that is currently beyond my comprehension and is quite painful. I am predominately submissive, but also a slave when in subspace.  About a month and a half ago, I met a Dom under very unusual and intense circumstances - I was in crisis and He reached to me. Our interactions have likewise been very intense over this period.  It started with several daily communications then after a couple of weeks we met in person, and the intensity in our discussions and attraction only grew.  We have learned a great deal of one another given how much time we have spent together over this short period and have already discussed and negotiated a number of matters that are paramount to a successful Dom/sub, Master/slave relationship as we were both seeking a long-term commitment.

Earlier this week we were enjoying a beautiful moment together as the sun was setting and He looked me in the eyes and declared that I was His.  I was over the moon Sir - I had felt He was spiritually, psychologically and physically the One i belonged to and was nothing less than elated. But today, everything has changed and I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under my feet and there is no ground or end in sight - I am just falling.

He shared with me today some matters that appeared in conflict with everything I have understood - so naturally I respectfully asked Him for clarification and He has informed me that He is doesn't know what He wants.  When I tried to gain further clarification as to what that meant - He just cut off all communication with me.  

I am feeling devastated as I care deeply for Him.  I know a month and a half is not long, but we've spent so much of it together, sharing intensely intimate matters and bonding so very well. Also, I am not one to enter into relationships so easily or quickly - I met my first Dom when I was very young and we were together for six beautiful years, but when He died I was completely lost and dead inside for years afterward.  Many years later I met another man who said he was Dom, but he was only an abuser so I ended it.  Again, years later and alone I met the Dom of which I am writing to You.

My thoughts are running given my state of mind, but I shall endeavor to focus best I can and kindly ask for your insight.

1) I have never heard of a Dom/Master that just leaves a sub/slave in such a state - I don't know how to process this and need guidance as I always understood a Dom/Master to know what S/He wants; and

2) What if He does re-establish communication with me - He could just leave me in this state again ... is this something that is common for a Dom/Master that I am just not aware of ... in my opinion this is just damaging to the foundation of trust that is so essential, especially for this lifestyle.

I would greatly appreciate your advice Sir - and to address the  last part of your instructions for asking a question - no, I do not identify as Leather Sir.

signed,
lost

Answer
I understand that you don't want me to reply.  Trouble is, this "AllExperts" system will keep sending me notices that I haven't replied to you unless I reply to you.

Also, I don't think that you can remove this post once written.  In the future, you might wish to mark them "Private" rather than allow it/them to be posted publicly where they can be searched/seen.

Glad you got it worked out on your own.

Pardon my delay in replying -- was on a business trip.

Bob