Expert: Robert Rubel - 8/11/2011

Question
Hello Robert, after having read through your previous answers, I am hopefull that you can help me. I recently told the guy I have been seeing off and on again over the years about my submissive nature. Thankfully he reacted well and said he was willing to try it. I can tell that he is enjoying our new found shared intrest. The problem is that he is inexperienced, I can tell he is nervous and unsure of himself. His lack of confidence is making it difficult for me to submit to him. I worry that he afraid  of really taking controle with me, because he's always know my outter persona. Typically I'm very outgoing, confident, and always in controle of my situation. Is there a way I can help him feel more relaxed and confident with being my master? I want to give myself to him, so we can we can both enjoy ourselfs.

Answer
Wow!  REALLY hard question.

First, if there is ANY WAY that you can attend the Master/slave Conference in Silver Spring, MD over Labor Day Weekend, I'd encourage you to do that.  It's a 400+-person conference all about Master/slave relationships.  It's the only conference of its kind in the world.

It's very hard to go from vanilla to Master/slave (M/s).  It's even harder if you've known your partner for some time.  It's even harder, still, if the Master is not rather naturally a Dom.

If you'll write to me at my regular email address, I'll send you a reading and resources list.

PowerExchangeEditor@yahoo.com

He's going to have to learn about Leather culture and traditions, about being more Alpha Male, about leadership, about communication...

Really, this could take years.

You'll have to grow into this together.  It's how I started.  At 56 I found this world and it took three years before I was comfortable STARTING down the Master/slave path and another 3-4 years before I really understood it.

It ain't quick.

Bob